Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Japan fears attack from Kaiju, builds BIG wall

Tokyo: The Japanese government has approved a plan to build a massive 400 kilometre Kaiju resistant wall along its coastline after the movie Pacific Rim made a delayed release in the island nation. This has been attributed to the Censor Board of Film Certification in Japan being headed by an eminent member of the Indian community.

Believing the movie to be a foreboding of things to come and after watching the aliens in Avengers come down from the sky, the government decided that between the two movies and the possibility of a world-wide Zombie threat as portrayed in World War Z, building a wall around their nation was not half a bad idea.

The Japanese Union Minister for Infrastructure and Development had this to say about the matter, “If the Chinese can build a big wall, why can’t we?”

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

The Department of Robots has also been ordered by Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to build robots like those in Pacific Rim but which can also turn into cars like the Transformers so he can drive one around. Another different aspect to this demand is that the robots look like Manga characters so that they instil not fear but patriotism and high spirits among the citizens of the nation and they don’t wonder whether this awesome idea of his was just a waste of their money.

The ruling Liberal Democratic Party, known for supporting big construction tycoons has claimed to have almost familial relations with an Indian political party which supports energy tycoons. They have since sought their help in powering the construction of the wall and building a free floating port that doesn’t hinder the wall and help everyone’s friends make a huge profit in the bargain. This will also be seen as an active measure in boosting trade relations between the two South-Asian nations.
PM Abe says, “This Kaiju wall will not only be a protective umbrella for Japan, it will also usher in a new era of business co-operation between our two nations. #Abenomics”

[This is my article for the Faking News website. You can and probably should read the entire article here: Japan builds 400 km sea wall to fend off Kaiju attack]

Note: This post has been written for Faking news. Did you notice the ‘Faking’ before the word news? That’s because this is a parody of mainstream news and is supposed to be taken in jest and humour.