Atithi Devo Bhava? Indian Intolerance is at 100% & Rising…

India has always denied claims of being racist and Indians absolutely hate the guts of those who dare to call us racist. The one argument – that we are a multi-cultural nation – is the defence used to thwart any racism related allegation upon our spotless robe tolerance and brotherhood.

A Tanzanian student was stripped and made to parade around the roads of Bengaluru, the place we proudly call the ‘Silicon Valley’ of India, because a Sudanese man ran over an Indian woman at that spot. She was harassed, beaten; her car set on fire and received no help from the police – all because she was from the same continent as the person who committed a crime.

Political leaders then even had the ever-present audacity to claim this was not a racist attack when African embassies came out in outrage of the horrific incident. Although Sushma Swaraj did condemn the incident, the damage is done and there is no guarantee that it will not happen again. This is not even an isolated incident. Media reports suggest that hate crimes are taking place all over the country.

What is even more appalling and shameful is that the 'Invest Karnataka 2016-Global Investors Meet’ took place in the same city just three days later where N R Narayana Murthy, founder of Infosys, made a statement at that forum which needs mention here because he said, “My request to the state chief minister (Siddaramaiah) and industries minister (R V Deshpande) is to help us make Bengaluru more liveable for all, especially youngsters, by improving its infrastructure and quality of life.”

While the world is moving forward, leaving behind discriminations of caste, creed and colour; our country seems to be regressing into the dark ages of witch hunts, lynching, racial profiling and mob justice. And if this has happened in one of the major cities of the nation, it is shuddering to think of what happens in other areas.

In the post, The Wrong Colour of Skin – I wrote of how hypocritical we Indians are of our skin colour, about how we blame foreigners for racism and how our brand of racism is much, much worse.

If Minions were real, Humans would kill them all

Since the first Despicable Me movie released in 2010, toddler and teenage audiences have been obsessed by the little yellow innocently evil army of villainous sidekicks aptly named ‘Minions’. 

Although the minions were conjectured to have been engineered from humans by Gru, their master, the latest ‘Minions’ movie, released in 2015, apparently says that they were present as an individual sentient species on Earth since the dawn of man.

The Minions, considered cute, cuddly, oblivious to their havoc and seemingly unaware of their stupidity and utter devotion to pure evil, have won over audiences all over the world. This is probably what led the producers to make a film entirely dedicated to them as central characters and set the timeline as the prequel to ‘Despicable Me’ and ‘Despicable Me2’ where they serve as underlings to a super villain Gru in the former, and his reformed self in the latter.

Image Courtesy: red.fm

But the fan following for these adorable creatures can materialize only in cinema, as present societal beliefs and practices prove so blatantly. This conclusion can be drawn from just one pertinent question that needs to be asked.

“Would humans find the minions so adorable in real life?”

The answer must be a resounding ‘NO’.

If we strip them down to their basic qualities, the minions are a highly intelligent life form, very durable, capable of building and operating complex weaponry, socially inept, linguistically hampered, ardently loyal and in perpetual need of a leader (preferably evil).

Image Courtesy: quotesnhumour.com

If one were to go through these qualities again, the realization that this army of mad mercenary scientists want to willingly pledge loyalty to an ambitious psychopath hits pretty hard. Well, at least to people who know how civilization works.

Would governments in the world today accept this species to live and flourish alongside the human race?

Would they take the chance of the minions falling under the command of rogue forces, terrorists and dictatorial nations?

Would they not be swiftly and brutally exterminated because of the fact that they potentially cannot be rehabilitated (as evidenced by millennia of lack of evolution)?

Even if they did eventually learn to lead normal lives along side humans (which is not possible given the assumption that the Neanderthal was wiped out by Homo sapiens) would we accept them as equal to humans or would they be degraded to second-class beings?

So, is there a scenario in which the Minions manage to survive and make a place in the hearts of humans as they have in the films? I find it highly unlikely.

What do you think?

Two boys: One Gay, the other a Terrorist

The boy who gained sympathy from the likes of Hillary Clinton and Ellen Degeneres for being worried about his future in a homophobic world is perhaps no different from the child who is brainwashed by terrorists and ordered to execute a Syrian soldier in cold blood.

Both these boys are rightfully afraid for their present and future because they live in a world where both of them are considered non-conformist, alien and diseases.

• One is scared of being shunned, the other of being shot.
• One is scared of being marginalized, the other of maximum security prison.
• One is scared of his father on Earth, the other of his father in Heaven.
• One lives in the closet, the other in the wilderness.
• One knows his choice will not change, the other does not have one.

It is easy for children to feel different from others, what is difficult is bringing them back. The world is becoming a harsh place for the very children who are to inherit this planet. The United Nations report on child rights, their conditions, nutrition and death is appalling.

And in the case of these two kids, the world is a much nastier place because malnutrition, diseases, poverty… these are accepted problems by the world community and everyone is, at least in concept, willing to work on these causes. But homophobia and hatred/fear towards child soldiers are not things governments are willing to talk about.

Image Courtesy: sodahead.com

A large section of the world criminalizes homosexuality and treats it more like a disease than a way of life. The basic human right of love and the freedom of expression are suppressed either by avoidance of discussion or by severe repercussions.

Image Courtesy: dailymail.co.uk

Child soldiers remain in the hands of their terrorist handlers long enough either to get killed by government forces or to grow up believing staunchly in the cause they kill and mutilate for. Then, there is no way back for them.

Engaging in meaningful dialogue through spread of awareness and strong action by governments are not enough. They are a step forward, sure, but not enough by any standard of measure. What the world needs is a change in mindset for people to accept diversity as part of human nature. The children need reassurance that the adult world is there to look out for them and no matter the cost, the future of the race will remain secure.

A #YehBhiMauka Moment for the “Other” Indian Sports

India has played a variety of sports since its Independence and gained prominence in many of them in various international competitions. However, in recent times, other sports have taken a very conspicuous back seat to the loud, boisterous and very heavily financed game of cricket.

India as a Sporting Disaster became even more prominent last year with its exclusion from the Olympics. However, with multiple gains in various games by the national teams, India seems to be taking its game to the next level once again. But as usual, these games aren’t getting much mileage and that is very disappointing from a nation that probably plays every game except rugby.

Here is why Indians have cause to celebrate its “Other” games:

The Men’s Hockey team is in the World League

The Indian team has already qualified for the Rio Olympics by winning the Asian games gold medal in 2014. Now they are going to play in the penultimate round of the World league and they still cannot garner the kind of support they should expect from their own nation. Let’s support them now and in the Olympics for they do bear the flag of the nation on their jersey and in their hearts.

Three Badminton Players are ranked in the Top 10

Olympic bronze medallist, Saina Nehwal is ranked second in the world in women’s Badminton. K Srikanth is placed third and Parupalli Kashyap is placed tenth in the men’s category. Moreover, PV Sindhu, Jwala Gutta and Ashwini Ponnappa are ranked in the top 20 in singles and doubles categories. If having six players from India ranking in the top 20 in various categories isn’t enough to support them, then what is?

Indian Football team is playing its 2^nd WC Qualifier

The Indian man’s football team is playing its second FIFA world cup qualifier against Oman after winning the first round against Nepal. This time, the team and management are expecting to go quite a long way and hope for the support of the country that has no expectations from the team due to their dismal past performances. In fact, no broadcaster except thenational channel acquiesced to even telecast it.

The Women’s Hockey Team is Playing in the World League

The women’s team will play the semi-final of the World league Hockey, same as the men and try to secure its spot in the final of this tournament as well as try to secure its place in the Rio Olympics, which it is yet to do. The nation needs to reminisce about Chak De India and really cheer both of its teams so that Indian Hockey can be proud to represent its nation.

#YehBhiMauka

Come on India, now is the time to Bleed Blue and support all our sports with the same vigour and spirit. Equal importance and enough motivation can work wonders. Tweet with the hash tag #YehBhiMauka to support all our sports because they too deserve your love and respect for being the champions that they are.

In Defence of a Sexist Prime Minister

According to our honourable Prime Minister, being intolerant of terrorism is a great thing, especially is someone manages it doing it despite having ovaries. Impressive, wouldn’t you say?

Well, everyone else thought so too. It is indeed quite spectacular to see the leader of the nation doling out a generous serving of a sexist “compliment” to the leader of a friendly nation. One would think he would also feel the same way about one of his predecessors who despite being the only the second woman Prime Minister in the world, held a dim view of the whole terrorist agenda in general.

Just innocent Prime Ministerial banter as usual.

Well, it would be wrong to place the blame for a sexist remark squarely onto his shoulders alone. He is merely the victim of the latent sexism and masochism and the patriarchal mindset that has been traditional in Indian politics for so long that people stopped talking about it in the last century.

Surely our beloved leader did not mean to degrade the office of a fellow Prime Minister and sound condescending in the worst way possible just because that country is indebted to ours for their very freedom. If it came to that, he could make the same innocent mistake with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff or say South Korean President Park Geun-hye.

In fact, there is a counterpoint to this whole thing which shows how much the PM cares about women, even those who don’t need it. His government recently refused to consider sending omen to the front lines in battle because guess what would happen if they were captured and held prisoners of war. Wonder what horrors await them in those concentration camps reserved especially for Indian soldiers in the country that uses pigeons as spies!

Although, I’m sure female soldiers would have preferred the Union Defence Minister treat them the same as their male counterparts. But, this is India, the land where women need to be kept safe from foreign assaults but can be raped, mutilated, murdered and thrown out of moving vehicles in the capital of the country. I’m sure they understand that.

So please stop criticizing the Prime Minister, at least when he is on a foreign visit. He represents our entire nation and our thoughts and our actions and our behaviour. He is the embodiment of all that we are and all that we aspire to be. To speak against the Prime Minister who has male genitalia and is flaunting his oratory skills in a foreign nation is against national interest.

Hope he had a better time than PM Sheikh Hasina.


Note: This post is a sarcastic take on what may or may not have been a highly sexist remark by one Head of Government to another. Definitely not to hurt anyone's feelings and sentiments. it is also not to debase or to defame our PM.

Indian Media teaches Sexism to School Children Now!

Today, the results of the CBSE class 12 results were announced across India and the kids seemed to have done pretty well. Although I don’t believe in the present system of examination myself, I’m sure we have a lot of proud parents today and others who are saying, “Look, Sharmaji’s son got 0.2% more than you! Which college will accept you now? You have destroyed your career and my reputation!”

Meanwhile the media is all about ‘Girls score better than boys!’ ‘Girls beat boys’ and so on and so forth all over social media. They’ll probably do the same thing on the front page of their newspapers tomorrow morning. And well, the news channels will be doing it right now. Really! Go check.

Ever since this dialogue of sexism has come to the forefront in India, we have been all about the empowerment of women and highlighting their successes and praising their leadership skills. All that is well and good and it is actually helping. But then the media goes ahead and creates the kind of tension that is counterproductive to everything else they think they’re doing for women empowerment.

Image Courtesy: dailymail.co.uk

While the only thing they’re doing is:

They’re creating unhealthy competition

Almost every media house in India has tweeted something to the effect that girls have performed better than boys in this academic year. What they don’t seem to realize is that they’re unconsciously widening the gender rift in academia which is already bad in India. Competition is good, but competition based on plain old gender divisive lines is ridiculous.

They’re creating familial rifts

Nobody can understand this point more than those who have risen in a house with a sibling of another gender. In a still very much patriarchal Indian society, a boy scoring less than a girl is perceived as a shame as it is assumed that the boy is going to be the breadwinner of the family. Looking at such headlines from the family perspective, the media is just putting more pressure on boys to do well. No wonder cases of suicides are going up every year.

Their idea of feminism is as evolved as a chimpanzee

The media wants to empower women but they either don’t know or don’t want to believe that feminism does not encourage putting one gender over the other. It is not about demeaning boys but about bring everyone to the same level. By saying, ‘girls outshine boys’ the only thing they’re proving is that they’re knowledge of feminism is as much as the politicians they label ‘sexist’.

Oh Indian media, when will you figure out what you're really doing?

Sweden plays a 'Gay' prank on Russia

Russia’s constant transgression into the Scandinavian nations’ sovereign territory has forced the Swedes to come up with a unique plan to shock and terrify the intrusive submariners into reversing their turbines and heading straight for the nearest Red naval base.

Bringing together a matter of national security and an important social issue to the same platform to address the Russian threat, Sweden has decided to lower a neon sign into the area where a Russian submarine was recently spotted.

This large underwater billboard advertises this: “Welcome to Sweden. Gay since 1944.”

The sign also sends out a message in Morse code to the effect, “This way if you are gay.”

Image Courtesy: dailymail.co.uk

This innovative method of intimidation of Russian forces by the Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society (SPAS), while hilarious and probably terrifying at the same time, is also a commentary on homophobia and on growing concerns of a massive security threat by nations that are not aligned with NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization).

According to the Independent, there have been around 39 incidents of the Russian armed forces entering other nations, intercepting cargo and passenger transports, abducting foreign citizens, flying dangerously close to NATO reconnaissance aircraft, circling naval vessels and positioning ships at the edge of other nations’ boundaries.

And despite this serious escalation of military activity, this organization has managed to put a farcical spin on things to turn the situation into a hilarious riot that, if implemented, will probably end up embarrassing Russia and its leader Putin, to no end.

It is however very saddening to see how homosexuality can still be used as a ‘weapon of shame’ in this day and age. Living in a nation that is against homosexuality to the point of making it a cognizable offence in the eyes of the law, it is easy to see how uncomfortable the very mention of the ‘taboo’ topic makes people. India even supported Russia’s anti-gay rights bill at the United Nations so the only difference between the two is that India hasn’t invaded anyone as yet.

The Politics of Friendship

There is a question or should I perhaps call it a dilemma, about friendship. And it’s not about two genders, but three.

The problem of what ‘type’ of friends we should and should not cultivate has been a question that is perhaps addressed in every household at one time or another in childhood, teen years and sometimes even adulthood.

Usually these questions revolve around bad influences and those few from shady backgrounds or different cultures. But whether one can have friends from the other two genders is rarely discussed. It is simply understood that persons of those category are out of bounds. That discussion is supposedly purely adult talk and taboo for the same people whose choices are being determined. Funny country!

Personally experiencing ridicule in school because of casual conversations with girls, I learned that along with society in general, even the education system is in denial that there is actually a problem of communication between genders. This gap is sometimes also encouraged through ridicule, excommunication from the peer group and marginalization from the opposite gender.

Image Courtesy: Google Images/extension.org.

These deliberate gender-distancing tactics have, I have realized, long lasting effects on the psyche. Talking just about males and females: Men may grow up to be indifferent, hostile and inconsiderate towards women. Women may grow up to be paranoid, disgusted and perhaps even leery of men.

If not given a chance to understand the dynamics of different genders by mingling, problems are likely to develop in a society that has the misfortune to be the one where such individuals grow up. The blinders put on them as kids are likely to stay on forever, the conditioning of a lifetime giving an extremely skewed vision and a closed mindset.

Perhaps this is what has happened to the people of the third gender. Avoided, shunned and “protected” from them, the rest of society treats them as sub-humans. Marginalized by the society that they should have been accepted into as normally as any other person, the people of the third gender have had to fight a long and arduous battle for the most fundamental rights. And even though the Indian government has accepted them as part of society, there is possibly a long road ahead of them trying to be part of society in this country.

This is the politics of the society we have been born into. Something as fundamental as friendship can also be the reason for discord. It makes one realize the potential for division within us.

Every day is 'Good Friday' in India

For those of you don’t know what Good Friday is, it is the day Jesus was hanged from a cross and killed. Just to make it clear, it isn’t literally a ‘Good’ Friday. The Vatican just thought it would be funny to confuse the rest of humanity, who, to this date, still very considerately text Christians ‘Happy Good Friday’. Well done Vatican, well done. I’m sure at least one Cardinal still tells this joke at the annual Papal dinner and the rest of them can’t stop chuckling.

However, the point is that Jesus died and the scriptures may say that he died for the sins of humanity and that it was foretold and that he had to pay the price to save mankind. This is what religion says. Now, if we just take it from the Roman and Jewish perspective, the man was stirring up trouble; Plain and simple. He was the whistle-blower who debunked old laws and gave the people something new to believe in. He spoke with an air of authority before those who weren’t used to people even looking straight at them. He defied almost all conventional rules and went even against the judicial system to protect adulteresses. He touched patients with leprosy and entered the house of a damned tax collector. That is why he had to die.

Shown here: Jesus whipping the crap out of money-changers in the temple of Jerusalem.
Image Courtesy: Google Images.

How many of you don’t know a person like this? How many of you haven’t seen stories of people in India trying to do good, punished for their deeds? Haven’t you seen whistle-blowers killed or jailed? Haven’t you seen honest officers transferred or killed? Haven’t you seen activists jailed or killed? Haven’t you seen leaders blown up for instigating revolutions?

Prophet – Sage – Leader – Activist – Son of God, whoever you are… if you go against those in power, you cannot live very long.

Jesus was a dissident of sorts. He strove to bring people around to the idea of thinking about what was right and not follow religious leaders blindly. It was the movie ‘Oh My God’, but playing out 2000 years back. Jesus spoke on law reform, commercialization of religion, better healthcare, and upper-class hypocrisy among other things. 

Son of God or not, the man Jesus was a revolutionary of his time and just like him, anyone who stands up to cry foul is shot down just like he was. The only difference is that Jesus was nailed to wood and today, revolutionaries and free thinkers are either buried in or burnt on wood.

The Great Indian Gay Rights Debacle at the UN

Russia put forward a motion in the Fifth committee of the UN General Assembly that challenged Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon’s changes to the international body’s benefits to partners of staff members. The chief of the UN, a supporter of equal rights for the LGBT community wanted marriage benefits to be extended to same sex couple working for the UN.

Surprise, surprise, surprise! India, along with other homophobic and intolerant nations like Iran, Iraq, China… yada yada yada, basically the whole Middle East voted for Russia’s resolution against equality! Why? Just because we don’t like gay people. Period. And also, Russia is our very dear friend and Putin is right in occupying Ukraine and may we please have that other burnt aircraft carrier you aren’t using? Pretty please?

Fortunately, 80 countries voted against this disgusting piece of legislation and supported the Secretary-General, leading to rejoicing among 40,000 United Nations staff members.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

India has this time definitely shown its class by siding with theocratic, autocratic, monarchical and in-every-way intolerant nations by supporting this resolution. Although same-sex unions are illegal in India (which is ridiculous in the first place), this in no way means that benefits to employees of an international organization should be dictated on the same lame ‘Indian morality’ basis.

I believe, that this time the US is right in pointing out how Russia is bringing its domestic policies to bear on the international front and challenging the head of the UN in making policy decisions. Russia, under the leadership of Putin seems to want to delve the world back into the cold war era and India, instead of being non-aligned as it has been since independence, seems to want to dive head first into those murky waters.

India has taken part in a resolution that reflects how politics is played in its own parliament. The opposition often has a problem with government policies which are even good for the public. There will be endless debates, nonsensical arguments and chair flinging-microphone hurling-money waving-insult flying debacles for every other reason.

I’m only glad that our people haven’t begun doing that at UN General Assembly sessions yet. Because if… I mean when that begins, there will be no hope for the human race.

Banned!

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

The government has decided that anything that does not conform to their version of morality will be banned; in the interest of the nation of course. Any manuscript, painting, photograph or film that does not uphold the standards that our ‘conservative’ government holds true, will be removed from the history books so that the innocent minds of the country are not polluted by it. Any reproduction, for commercial purposes or otherwise will be disallowed and anyone even held on suspicion of talking about such things will be beaten up by the ideological goons that may or may not have the support of the government.

The idea of the freedom of expression in this country seems to be quite skewed when one notices that things relating to artistic expression, depiction of reality and the cause of showing society the mirror are viewed as being obtuse, rebellious even. And on the other hand, things relating to the apparently ‘correct’ view of society, such as they are; that is sanctioned by the government, are given a free hand even at the cost of the resignation of the entire censor board.

I suppose if and when there comes a time in the history of a nation when those who seek to portray the truth have to leave it and seek exposure and asylum in foreign nations, that nation is not ready to face its own ugly reflection in the mirror of reality. That nation is surely going down a path where the government doesn’t want to show the truth to the people and when that happens, I think it means all is not well in that nation.

If our government is not ready to accept the reality of an abominable incident that took place in the national capital under their very noses and is not ready to accept a film showing the inequities and shortcomings of the state machinery and the minds of the perpetrators, the government needs a reality check and a break from trying to keep the ugly truth from the people.

And if the government still wishes to just ban anything that is worthwhile, go ahead. We will just download the stuff and then upload it again till everyone gets to see what you’re trying to hide.

Killing our Kitli Culture

The city of Ahmedabad is known as the centre of education in Gujarat and along with that comes its very own amazing phenomenon known as ‘kitli culture’. We in Ahmedabad are fiercely fond of our tea; nobody can keep us away from it. We even have a tea company that began here! In a place where tea is not even grown! Because of the immense market of tea consumers, lots of tea stalls or ‘Kitlis’ can be seen dotting this city’s streets. You may have to hunt for an ATM but certainly not for tea.

If you don’t know what a Kitli is, I suggest you take a look at this; The Kitli: Much more than just Tea.

Coming back to the matter at hand, there’s something ‘Vibrant’ happening in the city shortly. Heads of states, chairmen of international conglomerates, ministerial level officials and investors are coming into town. For the Chief Minister, Santa Claus is rather late this year but it sure looks like he is coming nonetheless.

So lots of MOUs get signed and multi-billion promises get thrown about nonchalantly at this event. But, does one have to sell the city’s soul to give an impression of development? Is it absolutely necessary that the common people suffer so that a few foreign dignitaries get the false impression of our streets being devoid of people who earn a day’s living by its side?

Since the past week, the Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation has been clearing all the kitlis and eateries that are stationed by the roads so that our former Chief Minister, the present one and their very important guests don’t have to see these hard working people make a living by selling tea on their precious ‘roads of development’. This is what has happened because of the project of a man who claims to be a former ‘chaiwala’ himself. I suppose he doesn’t believe in taking care of his own.

Image Courtesy: Joel George.

Instead of embracing these kitlis and being proud of them as being part of the city’s culture, their stalls are being dragged away like they are a nuisance. Are the authorities ashamed of this tea culture while they proudly flaunt ‘Indian culture’ in everyone’s faces in Delhi? Talk about hypocrisy!

I’ve been fortunate to have had many interactions with foreign exchange students from various countries throughout my education and I’m proud to say that I’ve taken each and every one of them to a kitli at least once. And they love it! They admire the street life of the city and the vibrancy that reflects in the people here who prefer to breakfast on muskabun or omelette at a kitli rather than bacon and eggs in a five star hotel. This is what Ahmedabad is and what it should be portrayed as.

To you dear authorities, I only ask that you stave off kicking the poor man in his stomach so that you can sign that multi-million dollar deal that might never be realized after these people go back home sniggering at your pathetic attempts to show this city for what it’s not.

Be proud of this city, not ashamed and maybe the people won’t be ashamed of you then.

Dangerous Dummies Dubbing our Films

I’m sure a lot of people around the world watch original movies dubbed in their own language. I’m sure you must have done so too. Come on, you can’t deny having watched at least one beautiful English movie torn to shreds in Hindi just for the fun of it. You were just bored on a Sunday and had nothing to do. You had a good movie but only the dubbed version which you are too good to watch because you are a true connoisseur of cinema. But what the hell might as well get a laugh or two out of it.

So you saw it.

You sat through the entire film and were laughing the whole time because you’d seen the one in English. But you’re also disgusted because you’ve degraded yourself by watching a ‘dubbed’ version, have you not? Aah! That short smile of guilt and regret tells me you’ve gone and done it… Tch tch tch… poor you.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

But. If you haven’t or you regularly watch English films dubbed in Hindi because of reasons like the Americans don’t speak British English or speak it too fast or speak Americanese because they think that’s English… it’s ok. I can understand.

In that case, be aware that what you’re hearing being spoken in the film isn’t actually what the dialogues are. You might as well be watching a Hindi film with American actors.

To put it straight – What you’re watching isn’t exactly the literal translation of what is being spoken by the characters in the film.

If you didn’t know that then it is my unfortunate duty to inform you that thou hast been made what we in India call a ‘Bakra’. In other words, ‘a damn fool’.

Oh you already knew that? Damn. Then you read all the above for nothing. However, if you can still bear with me for a moment, I’ll explain myself.

You see, Hindi is as of now the third most spoken language in the world, Mandarin Chinese and English being at first and second places respectively. So when a widely popular film is dubbed into Hindi and is seen by the Hindi speaking audience of the world, can you imagine how many people only hear the bullshit that the dubbing artists spew out? I’m not saying that all movies are dubbed badly but in my experience, most of them are and when this happens, a lot of people less smart than you actually believe that load of nonsense.

Films, I believe, are the mirror of society, not wholly representative, but a foggy mirror nonetheless. People actually do connect with movies and believe what is shown therein to be a reflection of the civilization they come from. So when and if you watch a movie that has been dubbed in Hindi, let it be Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Arabic, French, Spanish, Austrian, German, Australian, British or American, there may be discrepancies in the translation and since you may or may not know all these languages, you may not realize the differences between the original and dubbed dialogues.

This is dangerous.

It is not always apparent but we do understand different cultures only by watching the films made there unless you are a globe-trotting multi-millionaire intellectual who understands culture only by going to different countries and observing them closely. So our thinking is affected largely by what we see in films. This effect is unimaginable if viewed from a global perspective of the number of films dubbed wrongly and viewed by the Hindi populace of the world. Try to think about that. I’ll wait.

…

…

Ok, now what one generation thinks about another culture is bound to affect the next generation because that is how one gains preliminary knowledge about the world. So the effect of dumb dubbing is not restricted to space alone, it also has an effect over time.

Whoa! Right? I thought so too.

So you see how dummies dubbing our films can be dangerous? If not, then please do watch the film ‘Men in Black II’ in English and in Hindi. My team and I found 74 discrepancies in dialogues ranging from geographical to cultural to racial to language based errors.

But damn is it hilarious!

The ‘Mardaani’ Problem

A Socratic Question that’s cropped into my mind is:

‘Does a Woman need to be referred to by a Manly adjective like ‘Mardaani’ in order to describe her as being strong or assertive?’

This question has been revolving around my head for a couple of days now since I read a couple of pieces where writers had used this adjective to refer to a specific “breed” of women if I may refer to them as such; women of a strong and assertive nature, who stood up for their rights and fought back against patriarchal society such as it is.

The battle raging inside is whether it is right to refer to women as being strong and (insert synonyms) by using adjectives generally used for men; the word in question here being ‘Mardaani’. How does calling a woman as such have effects on both sides of the scale is the question I’m grappling with.

I totally get the point of calling women ‘Mardaani’ in the metaphorical sense of the word as ‘being like a man’; Man here being the gender generalized as being assertive, brave and strong. This idea is mildly acceptable because it compliments women, as writers I've read have been meaning to do I presume. But the downside of this positive aspect is that it generalizes men as being all those things and that is frankly insulting. Not all men are the same and complimenting women at the same time as insulting men is not the way to do it, methinks.

Coming to the literal part of it, I wonder why a woman needs to be called a ‘Mardaani’ in the first place. I believe that a woman need not be referred to in this particular manner and so do a lot of women I've had the chance to put this question to. It is actually demeaning to women to do so. Feminists who attempt to portray women in a manner which is equal to men are actually doing the opposite by admitting that all these qualities are only in men and that women need to borrow this adjective in order to be complimented or praised.

By taking the basic premise of men having qualities that only some women do, these people are putting men on  pedestal themselves; something I’m sure they don’t want to do if they want to see women on an equal footing and not a rung under the other gender. Even I as a man find it disturbing that people and especially writers are doing this because it is the sacred duty of writers to make their readers think.  When using the word ‘Mardaani’, they put in the metaphorical sense and assume that it is done but what of making their readers aware that it is unnecessary to do this and thereby make them think of how they wish to see women; as dependent on the other gender so as to borrow characteristics or as having those characteristics by and of themselves?

And even though I have an opinion on it, I’m still looking for answers. A little help perhaps? The comment box is just below.

The Wrong Colour of Skin

We Indians have this habit of calling everyone except ourselves racist. We feel that everybody is after the colour of our skin even though we have the best colour in the universe, Brown.

We think no end of our colour being the one that everyone wants and in fact is the colour God wanted everyone to be but mixed up some of the batches. We believe that it is a universal fact that our colour is coveted the world over except by our own because you don’t value what you already have.

We know for a fact that the white people tan themselves no end to get that brownish complexion and that black people keep rubbing themselves senseless with all kinds of products to get the same result. What we wonder is why our own women and some men try to get fairer when they already have the colour that the rest of the world is envious of.

We absolutely cannot bear to think of the fact that there may be a number of reasons why we cannot get a job overseas or get beaten up overseas or get deported from overseas or get thrown into jail overseas or be prosecuted overseas except for one reason and one reason only, our chocolate-caramel-coffee colour that is the envy of the planet.

When we hear about reports of Indians getting harassed overseas, whether for right reasons or wrong, we tend to assume and assert the fact that it was because of the colour of their skin. Oh yes, and it’s not that we care for other people who have the same colour; the Pakistanis and Bangladeshis be damned, they probably deserved it. It is only the Indians who are viciously attacked for their colour by these colour-discriminating foreign devils.

Cultures more advanced than ours – yes, I said it. Suck it up; as an Indian you know how archaic, bloodthirsty and unreasonable your culture is. So anyway, we refuse to believe that modern cultures have accepted people of all colours, nationalities, faiths and other preferences without any bias. Rednecks are bound to crop up every now and then but has anyone ever heard of more incidences of foreigners misbehaving with us than foreigners who are raped in our country? Nope.

We have the awesome audacity of calling others racist but we ourselves cannot believe that we are much more so in that context. We deign to call people and excuse my crude language here, goraas (whites), kaalia (black), pelee chamdi (yellow skinned) and the like while blaming others to be mean to our poor Indian brethren. How are we then different to those who call us terrorists and towelheads?

We as a nation need to assess our own behaviour and correct it before we teach the next generation to do the same. We as a nation of hypocrites will always be looked down upon and with good reason until we improve upon our behaviour, both, to our own people and those of other nations.

Image Courtesy: kindlemag.in

 Note: This post is not written to offend people of any nationality or colour, rather it has been written to remind my people that we will be treated as we treat others. Do unto others as you will have them do unto you. I will not apologize for all that I’ve written because I know it to be true and instead of getting angry, if you look within, you will realize that too. To those who would call me a traitor, I say you are a lost cause and you are the reason why we are not respected anywhere, not even by our own people.

The Chosen One (Guest Post)

On the 17^th of January 2014, my one and only invitation to write a guest post for another blog materialized when my post, ‘The Power of Division in Religion’ was published on Namrota Mazumdar’s blog, Coffee Beans. Ever since then I've been pestering her to write a guest post for mine, not because I had to compensate for her asking me, but because it was only then that I had understood the concept of having a guest on the blog.

Namrota is one of the best bloggers I've read in this one year of blogging. She is one who puts all her energies into creating a post that is not only engaging but also which conveys all she wants to say in a limited number of words. I can safely say that she has never disappointed her readers, especially me; such a wordsmith of high calibre is she. I am privileged to have her on my blog and what with a post that has implications such that might horrify the best of you.

The Chosen One! Lucky Orphan…

By Namrota Mazumdar

Life duels within a little body that has not seen the world for say more than a couple of years is thrown in the dark and cold well of categories. Categories with tags like lineage, legitimacy, religion…etc. The reason behind such spiteful action is that the child has nobody in the world to call his or her own. The child is an orphan. And the couple who is there to choose a baby to make their own…to call their own have their preferences listed already.

They don’t have children, Mother Nature was harsh on them and for some medical reason they can’t conceive a baby. So, they are at an orphanage to pick a baby. Now when it’s in their hands to select their child, they put forward their tiny list.

No medical problems
Must belong to their religion (caste doesn't matter, they aren't sectarians; blessed souls)
Legitimate birth (How can a couple from a good educated family bring home a child born out of rape or out of wedlock?)

Not much they are asking, are they? God bless them!

Not everyone is so much privileged to have their choice materialize. Like the husband once mentioned to one of his kin, who thought otherwise about their list, we go to buy apples we pick the lovely red juicy ones. Handsome thought I must say, putting babies and apples side by side, the best fruit known to humanity…remember the saying, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”. How many of us get to choose our children, eh? Lucky couple! And what perfection personified parents the chosen one would be honored with. The child would grow up with their values and principle and carry forward the purity of humanity the foster parents preach and practice. Lucky child!

So, maybe it’s not cold and dark well nor the action is spiteful, is it? I take back my words and gracefully bow down to the couple and their likes. 

Smoking Women

Some men have many problems with women doing stuff. Little things, big things and sometimes just anything. And it’s not only just men, but sometimes even other women who have problems with other women doing stuff that they cannot or did not do. This is much more conspicuous in the Indian society since we have this moral code of conduct for women that was established somewhere around the time of the birth of Christ.

According to this code, which has not been revised since then, women only have to do things expected of them and taking the road less taken is considered an obvious sign of bad parenting and entirely too much freedom. A woman roaming with men is BAD, a woman talking to a group of men is BAD, a woman staying out late at night is BAD, a woman who dares to love is BAD, a woman who takes pleasure in life is BAD and a woman who has what one may term a ‘bad habit’ is definitely out of hand. Somebody control that woman!

One such problem that the Indian society has with women is that they smoke. Are you shocked too? Did you not know that some women do hold the stick of death between their fingers and gloriously inhale the waft of tobacco that helps them forget your lecherous stares and absolute disgust? Well then you too need to revise your morals (and general knowledge) to the 21^st century edition.

Let’s face it, women do smoke. And there is nothing one can do about it. You know why? Because India still is a free country where people can still do what they want to with their own bodies. And this is not a new phenomenon, women have been smoking for hundreds of years and in some cultures, women actually smoke with their men from pipes attached to burning coals, water and tobacco.

So why are people today surprised to see a woman smoke?

Because they are taught so.

Men have observed that women of ‘good standing’ do not smoke or drink or get high in any way. It is just wrong. They are supposed to inhale only the smoke that emanates from the biryani they are cooking – in the kitchen – their rightful place!

It is disheartening to see that even people of this generation in India continue to feel this way about women. I’ve had some encounters with such people and although it is quite disgusting, my lady friends and I take great pleasure in scandalizing these people; makes for a great story over the next day’s ‘chai-sutta’ session.

These People are our Own!

India, the land of diverse cultures and the seat of multiculturalism in the world has a large number of different people residing within its borders. Well, this does not include illegal residents, just the ones who are Indian. People with different languages, religions, ethnic backgrounds and of course, colour. This country has nurtured her variegated children and even adopted some more from various parts of the world. And she has continued to do so for millennia. She has accepted anyone and everyone who showed the intention of living in harmony with her other children. In fact, she even took in those who would later enslave her for more than two centuries.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

Now, having established how this great nation has been the home of a number of peoples throughout history, allow me demonstrate how her children, who of course kept squabbling when they were infants, have still deigned to remain immature into their adulthood.

Recently, there have been a number of cases where certain people hailing from the Eastern regions of India were harassed, thrashed and even killed in none other than the capital of this country.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

A conscious Indian would ask WHY?

Well, I don’t know why but the obvious answer is because they share physical attributes with the Chinese people, the government of which is at constant loggerheads with the Indian government over the land they’ve illegally occupied in the northern and eastern regions of the country. Other than that, everyone who pays close attention to international affairs knows what games the Chinese play apart from issuing passports to Indian farmers, routinely crossing the international border, sending incursions to Indian military frontier camps and inscribing rocks on Indian soil. China, in its bid to remain the Asian superpower is not leaving any stones unturned; breaking international border treaties, bullying smaller South-Asian nations, landing troops on disputed islands and supplying insurgent upstart nations with weapons.

Yes that is reason enough to hate their guts, but why take it out on people of your own country who, by no fault of their own, share ethnic relations with our enemies? Why discriminate against them when they have done nothing to deserve this harsh treatment. Today, the people on the eastern frontier are fighting for the basic privilege of being recognized as Indians when they already have it.

These people have been residing here ever since Genghis Khan decided to annex that part of the sub-continent, maybe even before that. They officially became part of the Indian Republic when she got her Independence from the British Empire, same as any other territory, then why this bias?

In the 21^st century, when the world is fighting against international racism, having uprooted the same from their own nations, this Asian giant is still struggling to accept the people who were her own from the very beginning.

What a SHAME!

The Parasitic Language

Quite an unusual title to a post, right? ‘The Parasitic Language.’ I’m sure that a majority of you reading this post right now came here hoping that this was a short story of some kind. I assure you now, well in advance that it most certainly is not. I also know that a lot of you will probably leave this page after reading the previous line which makes this line sort of obsolete but those of you who've managed to persevere till this point, I’m sure this will be worth it.

First, a slice of history.

Image courtesy: Wikipedia.

We humans developed language as a means to communicate since we seem to have lost the awesome power of telepathy, well most of us anyway. Every part of the world developed its own language and then each specific region in turn developed a dialect of their particular language. In time, we humans also figured out that we could use our hands for something other than hunting and killing both animals and people, thus the weapon mightier than the sword was born and the written word came into existence.

Skipping a few millennia we come to the age of expansion wherein the ‘civilized’ nations carried the burden of educating the rest of the ‘barbarian’ world with the concept of colonization and international trade (read: Forced Globalization). And in the race to be the mightiest world power, the British came out on top there came a time when it was said, ‘The sun never sets on the British Empire.’ Yeah, they were basically what USA was to become in the modern age, but more aggressively so.

The result of the above events.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

Since the British managed to conquer various parts of the globe, they obviously became the rulers there and spread their technology, religion and the most important thing: their language. Over time, the English language became the primary language of governance and finance in most of the world simply because the Empire managed to survive that long. However, even after they relinquished their hold over their colonies because the natives had become smart, thanks to their education policies, the language was deeply entrenched in the society and refused to leave with its departing countrymen.

Unlike certain languages like Sanskrit (in the Indian context), English managed to stay rooted and blossom wherever it was sown because it had the ability to adapt. The scholars in England were smart enough to realize that to survive; the language had to adopt words from the cultures they were spoken in, simply because there weren't words in English to describe some things in their former colonies. Things that were either not found in England or not been recognized before. It was only this long-term planning that allowed this language to not only blossom but turn into the massive banyan tree that envelopes the world today.

Now, the point I’m trying to make.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

Now it’s all hunky dory to have an international language that binds most of the world together and promotes everything from business to international relations. But I wonder if English is becoming a threat to the regional languages which with it co-exists. Again in the context of India, as far as I know, English is becoming a threat at least to a number of languages; to their spoken as well as written form. In this Age of Information, it is a almost a sin if one doesn't know to speak English. It has slowly turned from being spoken in compulsion to something that is a requirement if one has any sort of ambition. To not know even a smattering of English is considered illiteracy and a sign of incomplete and second–grade education.

Because of this situation, India is experiencing a dearth of candidates who opt for the state or national languages. One might expect that due to the rainbow of cultures residing in not only this country but the entire subcontinent, languages might have no fear of dying out. But it is frightening to see how fast dialects and whole languages spoken by a small number of people are on the verge of extinction. Is this what is survival of the fittest? It is not like other languages do not adopt words from other languages, they do so unofficially but since English has the advantage of having an institution of its own that constantly updates words into its lexicon, I fear there will come a time when this language will finally eliminate its competition to emerge as the one language of the world.

The Search for Home

Living in another city, away from home has its pro and cons. Well, more pros and fewer cons, oh wait, or is it the other way around? Anyway, once you’re adjusted, it’s pretty alright if you can compromise with certain things like food, water, weather conditions and the people. There are other factors too but chief among all is the need for shelter – A roof over one’s head. And incidentally, that’s the hardest thing to find nowadays. Especially for a bachelor, a spinster or both together.

First of all, people don’t trust young people even a single iota. They seem to be damn sure that there’s going to be rave parties and naked people and rapes and orgies and that they will one day bring the police down on them. They seem to be particularly wary of engineering and medical students, I don’t know why.

Speaking of trust, foreign students have an even tougher time finding residence and only God help those who come from the Middle East; their life is basically hell if they don’t find host parents or hostel accommodation. People, at least in India are very wary of people from Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran because to them, all these countries are synonymous with terrorism. Anyone and everyone from this side of the continent is not trustworthy and have basically come over to bomb the hell out of a railway station or market. Now I know this sounds bad but wait, there’s more. They will be refused gas lines, be kept watch over and be tracked just because some maniacs are bent on creating hell on Earth.

Then, there is also the factor of the ‘Great Indian Middleman’. The broker is an important piece of the puzzle that is home searching. It is nearly impossible and high improbable that you will find something suited to your needs without the help of a broker. If you do, you’re in luck, but I wouldn't depend on it. The broker will charge around the same amount as the rent, so you end up paying double. But is that it? NO! The homeowner will take three times the rent as insurance in case you cause damage. So if you’re a student without a job and nobody to support you, you’re broke.

The area problem is another hurdle that not many can overcome. Rents differ from area to area and it is hard to find a suitable accommodation which is near to essential areas and affordable at the same time. There is compromise to be made most of the time.

Hence, as you will probably deduce from my first hand experience, living outside is not as hunky dory as you presumed in your sweet world of fantasy. So think twice!