Chaiwallahs are collateral damage in a Chaiwallah’s war

As soon as PM Narendra Modi announced that currency notes in the denomination of Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 would be demonetised immediately, people ran to the nearest ATMs and began withdrawing Rs 100 denomination notes. And then… the ATMs ran out of money.

Today, as I was going about gauging the mood around town, I stopped for tea at my usual kitli. After the usual pleasantries with my usual chaiwallah, I took my cup of tea and sat down with my phone to check for updates on the US election. Donald Trump had won. OK, no comments.

But then I saw something closer to home. Something I am going to call the ‘short-term collateral damage of demonetisation of notes’.

Photo Credit: Joel George

The chaiwallah was arguing with his stockist. Since this was a small kitli at the corner of residential block, there wasn’t much traffic here and there are lesser customers. Hence, cigarette sales also aren’t that great. So the stockist gave the chaiwallah two boxes of cigarettes and chaiwallah handed over an Rs 500 denomination note to pay for it.

However, the stockist refused to take it, saying that he would not accept anything except Rs 100 notes. Now, the chaiwallah only had Rs 500 notes since he got the news only this morning and by that time, all the ATMs in the area were already out of cash and customers were unwilling to exchange his notes for him.

After a lot of haggling, the stockist came up with a solution. He would give the chaiwallah the boxes on credit instead of either taking the Rs 500 note or not selling the cigarettes to him at all. The chaiwallah, out of options, agreed and put his Rs 500 note back into his pocket with a sigh.

He then turned to me and said, “What have we poor people done? Why should we have to suffer for all the black money these businessmen and politicians have accumulated? We hardly have enough money to run our business and our house.”

And thus, the chaiwallah remains the unwilling and helpless collateral damage in this nationwide war on black money initiated by one of his own.

Ahmedabad, you don’t deserve Diwali

Do you celebrate Diwali by bursting crackers? Do you do so on the street? Then this is just the post for you.

Dear entitled, illiterate, rich leech,

You are quite the explosives expert and you certainly have the means to purchase expensive firecrackers and burst them in front of your family, friends, neighbours and anyone else who would like to compete with you in your little phallus measuring contest.

And just because you can afford these things, you think you are entitled to do so wherever and whenever you wish without a care for those who are too evolved, too mature or just too tired from a hard day’s work to stoop down to your level of utter stupidity.

You are indiscriminate

You are the ones who live in big bungalows and high rises but prefer to burst your crackers out on the street because you either don’t want to spoil your squeaky clean colony or disturb your immediate neighbours because they will actually do something about your ridiculous behaviour. So, you decide to burst your crackers out on the street without a care for either pedestrians or drivers. You are a glutton for punishment.

You are callous

You are the ones with the big cars and thousands of rupees worth of crackers who dare not burst them in your colony and so you drive to the street, far from your house, and do so in the middle of the road, all the while shamelessly laughing at your own callousness and the discomfort of others. Your parents should be ashamed of what you have become.

You are dumb

You believe that since the road is public property, your daddy owns it. Surprise you idiot, he doesn’t. We all, and that includes the people you don’t care about, have paid to have these roads built and maintained and we have the right to safe passage without have to bother about getting set on fire or meeting with an accident just because you decided it was fun to throw crackers onto the road. You need more education.

You are like irritating insects

Just like the drone of a fly or the bite of a mosquito, you are the sound that irritates this city. Just because you have the money to buy a truckload of crackers does not mean you are entitled to burst them till one in the night. You violate the basic right of peace when you decide you haven’t had enough fun and continue burning all the excess money that you have in a spectacular display of fireworks. You need to see a counsellor.

You make the police brutal

You complain about the police chasing you away from the roadside and tea shops at night. You think that they are being too brutal and that if they did their job right, you wouldn’t have to suffer for it. But, what you don’t realize, you little dung beetle, is that the police would rather have you off the streets than have to clean up after your racing matches, your loud music, your vulgar behaviour and your drunken brawls. You are not fit to be left unattended on the roads of this city.

You are a disgrace to Gujarati society

Gujarati society claims to be one of the warmest in the country, one that welcomes other cultures with open arms and invites them to live peacefully within it. You however, are the boil on the city that is the face of Gujarati culture. You fill Ahmedabad with pus and disfigure it with your hideous ideas of selfishness, uncaring attitude, and blatant disregard for your fellow human beings. It is because of you that the whole country believes that the people of this city just want to make money and show it off without displaying any signs of respect for education, humanity, communal harmony, equality or intellectualism.

You spoil the image of the entirety of the city’s youth. You deserve nothing.

Atithi Devo Bhava? Indian Intolerance is at 100% & Rising…

India has always denied claims of being racist and Indians absolutely hate the guts of those who dare to call us racist. The one argument – that we are a multi-cultural nation – is the defence used to thwart any racism related allegation upon our spotless robe tolerance and brotherhood.

A Tanzanian student was stripped and made to parade around the roads of Bengaluru, the place we proudly call the ‘Silicon Valley’ of India, because a Sudanese man ran over an Indian woman at that spot. She was harassed, beaten; her car set on fire and received no help from the police – all because she was from the same continent as the person who committed a crime.

Political leaders then even had the ever-present audacity to claim this was not a racist attack when African embassies came out in outrage of the horrific incident. Although Sushma Swaraj did condemn the incident, the damage is done and there is no guarantee that it will not happen again. This is not even an isolated incident. Media reports suggest that hate crimes are taking place all over the country.

What is even more appalling and shameful is that the 'Invest Karnataka 2016-Global Investors Meet’ took place in the same city just three days later where N R Narayana Murthy, founder of Infosys, made a statement at that forum which needs mention here because he said, “My request to the state chief minister (Siddaramaiah) and industries minister (R V Deshpande) is to help us make Bengaluru more liveable for all, especially youngsters, by improving its infrastructure and quality of life.”

While the world is moving forward, leaving behind discriminations of caste, creed and colour; our country seems to be regressing into the dark ages of witch hunts, lynching, racial profiling and mob justice. And if this has happened in one of the major cities of the nation, it is shuddering to think of what happens in other areas.

In the post, The Wrong Colour of Skin – I wrote of how hypocritical we Indians are of our skin colour, about how we blame foreigners for racism and how our brand of racism is much, much worse.

Stuck in Smoke: The Fear of Police Brutality

As a journalist, coming home late is so normal that no time is late anymore per se but by normal standards, yes it was. And by late, I mean almost midnight.

This was a good day and since I did come back fast, I hadn’t had anything to eat. So I went to get a vada pav, which in case you’re wondering is a fried potato patty stuffed inside a bun and heated on a pan, sometimes with cheese.

The Incident

I just wanted to get the vada pav and get back home but no, events have to conspire on the one day I get home fast and that’s what happened here.

I got to the shop, ordered my cheese vada pav and then started reading the menu because there really isn’t much you can do while you wait. By the time I read half of it, my order was done and as I reached over the counter to take the parcel, I heard the shutters come down. Turning around, I saw one of the workers signalling all of us customers to be quiet and loudly whisper – POLICE.

I saw the time and sure enough, it was 12:00 am. The police had obviously come to shut down everything and we had been unlucky to be inside the place at that time.

It was then that it began. One of the dozen or so customers asked if the police would beat us if they found us. I thought he must be joking but turning around I saw that he and his friends were earnestly discussing this possibility which amused and worried me at the same time. Then the employees shut the lights off and the murmurs grew louder.

It amused me because I believe that the police could not beat us up for being there but I was apprehensive because I didn’t know for sure what the police would do. ‘Could’ and ‘would’ – the difference between knowing how things ideally work and not knowing how things will actually take place.

Image Courtesy: schmidtgs2.wikispaces.com

After ten minutes or so of this conversation, an employee got an all-clear phone call from the other side of the shutter and he opened it just a little and let us out in pairs. It reminded me of a couple of movies where people are trying to cross international borders.

And I thought to myself,

“Are things really so bad?”

“Why is there fear even on a normal day in a busy part of the city?”

“Are these people right in mistrusting the police?”

“Do we need to fear the very people in charge of protecting us?”

“Is this paranoia or years of ingrained reality?”

And the most important thought,

“Is this the fear of one person creeping into all in a distressing environment or is this a mutual repressed feeling being triggered by a mere mention of atrocity?”

The Implications

The latter thought is scarier than the former and if true, needs to be addressed by the Ahmedabad City Police at the earliest because if the people don’t trust their protectors, who are they going to put their faith into?

The Next Step

I hope this post reaches the police department because I figure they should be concerned even if this is an isolated incident, which isn’t very likely.

When Parents FAIL their Children all over again

Some parents I’ve noticed have this annoying habit. A habit they do not realize does more harm than good; a habit that discourages instead of bringing improvement; a habit that affects the psyche instead of the outlook; a habit that is akin to kicking someone who has fallen, laughing in their face, and then telling them how much you love them.

This is the habit of parents showing the whole world what spectacular and utter failures their children are by putting their shortfalls on full display before all to see and then inviting some more people to come and have a good laugh that’ll brighten up their day. This will then probably lead to an innocent either jumping from the terrace or hanging from the fan if they’re not strong enough to take the insult or smart enough to understand its purpose.

Let’s face it, there are such parents. And what’s worse, they are more in number than those parents who like to show the world that their children are the best in the whole wide world. Admittedly, that isn’t any good either, extremes rarely are, but at least it is talked about and ridiculed. However, the other end of the spectrum? It isn’t talked about in the way the adulation is spoken of. It is hardly ever criticized in society that is.

Image Courtesy: theodysseyonline.com

There is rarely one who is strong enough to stand up to the parents and ask them to stop the rigmarole because at that moment, the child is the one who has let the parents down, who has tarnished the family name, who has failed in class, who has lost the competition, who has bunked a class, ho didn’t get into a good college, who didn’t get that gold medal, who didn’t care about what parents wanted. The child is to blame fair and square.

But one would think that parents, before using this innovative method of insulting their children before family and friends, would stop for a moment and think about what this would achieve.

Does ridicule raise confidence?

Does insult dull the injury of failure?

Does shame induce self-confidence?

Does derision ensure better performance?

Does humiliation beget better results?

Does indignity tend to inspire?

These are the questions that these parents need to ask themselves before going out into that party and shaming their children before others because you never know how someone will react to such shaming.

Your children might not understand that you do it out of love or desperation or some other sort of correctional method. In that moment, they just know pain all over again.

For some, it is too late. For others, it is not.

Please find a better way.

I’ve been meaning to write about this topic for quite some time now and a friend fortunately brought it up on Facebook recently. She saw this happening on an Indian soap opera and spoke out against it which led me to ultimately writing this piece. If you do think the problem is real, share this post with either the student who is suffering from this, or with the parent who thinks ridicule only makes things better.

Kim Jong-un's Six news ways to kill Traitors

Pyongyang: After having his Defence chief executed for treason because he dozed off in a high profile meeting titled ‘Dealing with Traitors’, eternal leader and Dictator par excellence Kim Jong-un sent a memo to the Pointless Killings Committee elaborating on six innovative ways to execute future sleeping beauties.

Sources deep inside the North Korean government indicate that Kim formulated this memo on the way to the classified nuclear missile silo where he was scheduled to oversee the execution of the chief scientist for making missiles with rounded heads. These pointers are meant to be taken as an express command of the benevolent leader and are to be inducted into the formal execution methods for all time (and beyond it).

Here is a copy of the memo that an anonymous source sent out to Faking News before mysteriously disappearing two days back. The document contains illustrative photographs to help the committee better grasp what the leader has in mind.

This dude!

Top Secret Document

Six New ways to annilate anihilatte destroy Traitors

#1 Running them over with Monster Trucks

Technique: Two monster trucks gifted to me, your leader, your God, your everything, by my best friend Putin will be used to run traitors over in the garden of my palace.

Priority status: Slaves bonded labourers.

#2 Tying them to Test Missiles

Technique: Any traitor who happens to be convicted on the day of a test launch of our missiles shall be tied naked to the missile and then launched. Sex appeal will get more attention from the world press.

Priority status: All military personnel, my family members.

#3 Air-dropping them over South Korea

Technique: Traitors attempting to cross over to the prosperous hated nation south of our borders shall be air dropped without parachutes in their territory.

Priority status: Civilians looking for a better life.

#4 Making them eat Radioactive Vegetables

Technique: Defectors working in sensitive national security fields shall be made to eat vegetables stored in uranium 238 contaminated storage.

Priority status:  Scientists, researchers, historians.

#5 Feeding them to the Sharks

Technique: Enemy citizens captured within and beyond the boundaries of our glorious nation shall be sent to sleep with the fishes. I have waited to use this line from a long, very long time.

Priority status: Spies, prisoners of war.

#6 Injecting them with the Ebola virus

Technique: Old people and the sick are of no use to the economy (thus becoming traitors) and must be disposed off. However, this must be done with compassion. To give them a natural death, they must be injected with the Ebola virus which our outsourcing partner Boko Haram has sent us.

Priority status: Old, sick, unemployed

Note: This is a Faking News report that I did some time back for MyFaking News. It is to be taken with the humour with which it was written.

The Year is New, but are Your Priorities?

Everyone’s excited about the new year that began on January 1^st. Excited about a new beginning, a new resolution, a new twist to lie, a promise to oneself, new changes, new attitudes, new, new, new…

But is that really the case?

Do we really look forward to a new year or look back and enjoy the memories of milestones past. Are we just content to look back and not bother much about what lies ahead?

Image Courtesy: discussionist.com

If yes, then why rejoice for all the things accomplished at the end of this calendar year? Why not think of what didn’t happen this year? Why not think of what more could have been done this year? Why not reflect upon things that still require attention?

Some examples if you please.

Everyone in India went gaga over the fact that the country now has 1 billion telecom users. Yay! The country is now connected, right?

But what about the fact that India’s population is 1.2 billion, which leaves about 0.2 billion people still without a phone?

And what about the fact that there are 4 billion people in the world still not connected to the internet according to CNN Money? That’s four times the people who just use telecom services in India.

How about the 1.6 billion people in the world who have no sort of electricity at all if the World Bank is to be believed? How come these people don’t have a light in their homes this new year while we celebrate?

But the best and most apt comparison is that the United Nations claims there are 1 billion people in the world who defecate in the open even today. Well, how about that? What about them?

If you need to think, think of what is still left to do instead of lying back and basking in the glory of things already achieved. These are the things that need to be done this year.

Make a promise to help in whatever little way you can, for every small measure helps in making this world in the words of the immortal Michael Jackson:

A better place for you and for me and the entire human race…

Owning up to the Real Issues at Hand

We see and are a part of a number of things that are wrong in society in daily life. We want to make them better, we want to be better as a civilization and we strive towards that very common goal with the rest of humanity.

But we sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture either by quickly finding someone to blame or getting caught up in unnecessary nuances that hide the real issue, which is then left to stagnate and dealt with at a later date.

Image Courtesy: pinterest.com

These are the issues that really need to be dealt with, the crux of the matter, the questions we should really be asking. Divided by categories, here are the real issues and their tangents we have been obsessing over.

Crime

Radhe Maa in a skirt or Radhe Maa abetting suicide

The self-styled ‘Godwoman’ known as Radha Maacame into the news recently for her apparently racy photos in which she is wearing a short skirt or a dress. Although the real issue of her involvement in the death of a woman in a dowry case came to light, everyone was obsessed more about her short skirt than her abetment of suicide. That says more than one thing about the Indian mindset.

Defence

Japan’s new defence bill or Chinese aggression in South Asia

Everyone, from pacifists, to students, to academicians, to the common people are opposing a bill cleared by the lower house of Japanese parliament that will allow their military to help their allies fight threats. This means, Japanese forces will once again be able to deploy beyond their shores. What is not being taken into consideration however, is the Chinese aggression in the South China Sea that is taking a turn for the worse and Japanese self-defence may be reliant on reciprocation of the same to its allies.

Social Issue

Politics or Human Rights in the Israel-Palestine conflict

Political deadlock between Israel and Palestine seems to have become a permanent feature for that part of the world. With uncompromising parties on both sides giving no room for a peaceful reconciliation, the conflict seems in no hurry to end. However, human rights abuses, both by militant groups as well as police forces seem to be sidelined in favour of sovereign territorial disputes, settlements and violence on the streets.

Culture & Heritage

Protecting Monuments or Stopping Conflict

Cultural heritage all over the world is in constant danger of being enveloped into the conflicts that result in their unnecessary destruction or the threat thereof. The destruction f the Bamiyan Buddhas (Afghanistan), the looting of Iraqi national museum (Iraq), the allegations of the Taj Mahal being a temple (India) and the threat to Palmyra’s ruins (Syria) is very real and disheartening. Religious intolerance and conflict will continue to exist till there is a shift in mindset or in vested interests, but heritage will not come back once it is destroyed.

Education

The Porn Ban or the need for Sex Education

Amidst the uproar on whether the Indian government has any right to tell its citizens what to watch on the internet due to them banning over 800 porn sites, the real point of sex education and its despondent state in Indian education has been lost. The government has cited immorality as its feeble excuse to try to get away with its regressive policy but all everyone can be bothered with is the right to watch porn. What about the real bad effects it has on children? The answer is lost in the echoes of morality, decency and the freedom of the internet.

Religion

Fanaticism or Blame Game

Religious fanaticism exists in almost every religion and even examples seem unnecessary in this case. How much ever one tries to deny it, everyone knows that fringe elements exist in every religion, the people who are either too naïve to figure out that they are pawns in a bigger game and those who do so for their own vested interests. But popular concentration seems to be on placing the blame not on these elements alone but on a broader spectrum of people, most of whom abhor these elements and wish to see them wiped out as much as any sensible human being.

Time for a reality Check, maybe?

Hence, to say then that we aren’t actually facing up to the real threat wouldn’t be much of an overstatement. Time to see things in a broader perspective, don’t you think?

Dad, I’m in a Live-in Relationship

That perhaps is one of the hardest letters to write to a conservative Indian parent.

Fears of loss, hatred, marginalization and pain accompany the decision to call a parent one knows is not going to accept their choice. Tremendous courage and hope for understanding and failing that, reconciliation is the only thing that can help mitigate the fear of telling this parent that one is staying with one’s partner outside of marriage.

Here is one such letter from a hopeful son to his father.

 Dad,

You must be surprised that I wrote you a letter but believe me, in this case, it was the only way I could sufficiently put down everything I want to tell you. The telephone, the tone of voice, the emotion; it all is too much of a distraction.

I’m in love with a magnificent woman named Anna and we’re in a live-in relationship. We have been so for a month now.

This must come as a shock to you as I haven’t said anything about her or us till now. But there is a reason for that. I don’t know if you’re angry or sad or disappointed in me but I must still shamefully ask you to trust in me.

I know that you and mom brought me up believing in the sacred bond of marriage and you must feel that you could have done something more, especially after this letter. Please don’t, it isn’t your fault, it is just my choice.

I love her and she loves me and we have done so for over three years now but mom only knows her as one of my friends. She turned out to be something much more and I see her as my partner for the rest of my life. Perhaps we shall also marry one day but that day isn’t today or tomorrow or at least in the next five years.That day might also never come.

It isn’t the fault of education or this big city or bad influence that has led me here, it is the realization of what is good for Anna and me and how we want to live our lives, at least for the moment, without societal shackles till we are absolutely sure than we can bear each other for a lifetime.

I ask not for forgiveness or acceptance, I ask only for your understanding of the choice that I have made and am about to in the future. I need you to have my back, Dad.

Your loving son,

Fred

Image Courtesy: nrigujarati.co.in

Shashi’s Seven minute Succinct Speech on Saying Sorry

Quite the tongue twister that one, eh? Yeah, that’s what happens when you try to work a little too hard on your title. You end up making a tongue twister that hardly anyone can read, much else dare to click on the link and read the supposedly equally horrifying content contained under such a dubious head line. However, coming to the topic at hand...

The Statesman who almost did things

Dr Shashi Tharoor
Image Courtesy: thehindu.com

Dr Shashi Tharoor, the man who almost headed the United Nations, the man who knows almost everything about socio-economic India in the present age; this man almost brought the British Empire down to its knees at the ‘Reparations debate’ at the Oxford Union Society. The proposition was that Britain owed reparations to her former colonies for their colonization.

The Case for an Apology

The British Empire Anachronous
Image Courtesy: The Red Hat of Pat Ferrick

Dr Tharoor spoke eloquently for the proposition, made mockery of the opposition, cited statistics, and even managed to calculate to a certain extent, how much Britain needs to pay India if she decides to do so. But, in the midst of all the financial talk, he said something that made perhaps more sense than everything else put together: The need to accept a mistake and say sorry. To pay or not to pay is a matter of ambiguous uncertainty but to say that a debt is indeed owed is what is important.

Indirect genocides through the inaction of the British Empire through various famines and the active participation in human rights abuse is something that needs to be accepted. Although it is true that a deliberate mass killing was not initiated but the death toll and one psychological, need to be addressed.

The Unanswered Question

However, one question does remain unanswered.

Sixty-eight years on, do Indians even care about reparations, and for that matter, do any of the former colonies who have since then stabilized, settled into their democratic framework and progressed with the world into the 21^st century?

This question is not meant as an insult to all those who fought for our freedom or who lost their near and dear ones either fighting for or against British rule in India. Only time and the unearthing of bones long put to rest will tell whether we are indeed capable of holding on to an almost seven decade long grudge against people long dead and dusted.

Lèse-majesté laws: Shield of Solemnity or Sword of Silence?

The term lèse-majesté implies injury or harm to the majesty of eminent persons, most often used to describe insults to monarchs and visiting heads of State and Government in many countries of the world. In some countries, it may also be treated as treason.

Since the decline of absolute monarchy in all but a handful of nations, there aren’t any strict laws against lèse-majesté but laws preventing the populace from speaking against democratic governments have instead sprung up, which basically amounts to the same thing.

Image Courtesy: genius.com

Recent incidents of people being charged with lèse-majesté in Europe show that it isn’t taken very seriously and may be categorized with similar laws like defamation or libel. Over years, these laws have been watered down by the rise of democracy and the lack of power wielded by the monarch. A Polish man was fined US $ 6,200 in 2005 for insulting Pope John Paul II, a visiting head of state. In 2007, a man was jailed for a week in the Netherlands for insulting Queen Beatrix. A magazine in Spain was fined for portraying the then Prince of Asturias and his wife engaged in sexual intercourse in 2007.

However, in nations like Thailand, where the monarchy is looked upon in reverence and is almost deified, lèse-majesté laws are brutal and have a maximum of 15 years imprisonment for trying to besmirch the image of the ruler, the head, the face and the symbol of unity of the nation. Also, lèse-majesté doesn’t need to be proved in Thailand, it need only be deemed to exist. The government has taken an increasingly hard line against those who criticize the monarchy, even though the king himself asked the public to do so because even he was prone to making mistakes. From 1990-2006, the country saw approximately 75 cases while it saw over 400 from 2006-2011.

The arguments for lèse-majesté laws can be made on both sides. On one side, they protect the sovereign, who may be the symbolic or actual personification of a nation, from being treated like a common person. On the other hand, it withholds from the public the fundamental right of the freedom of expression. Now that the world is over the whole idea of the ‘divine right’ to rule’, should the monarch still be kept protected or should the people get the right to express discontent and criticize those in power?

How do then governments strike the right balance between preserving the dignity of monarchy and preserve the right to expression? The answer is not  simple one but one perhaps that can be answered by ruling families themselves who can be open to civilized and constructive criticism, and learn to take sarcasm in the right spirit. Looking inward to introspect and improve relations with those devoid of “blue blood” may perhaps yield better results than laws dealing with lèse-majesté.

Whether you are a reader from a monarchical nation or not, I’d like to know your thoughts on the matter.

Is the Illiterate better than the Educated?

The Narrative

So there was this friend of mine who had to go pay her electricity bill and then get to work. To her dismay, she found a long line of people waiting in line to pay their bills. That day she learnt not to wait for the last day to pay a bill. As you will see, a lesson well learnt.

So as she resigned herself to being late to work and getting half a day’s pay getting cut by getting in line, she knew that the boss was wasn’t going to happy. But this was more important. If she didn’t pay the bill today, a lot of other people wouldn’t be happy what with the earth-scorching heat in India rendering even industrial strength fans useless.

So there she stood, drops of sweat dripping down her forehead one by one like the ticking of the seconds hand on her watch. One bill got paid, two, three, four… and then something happened.

A man and someone who appeared to be his valet came into the office. They discussed something and the valet stepped into the back of the queue as his employer went striding directly into the office, not giving a damn to the incredulous looks of all those awaiting their turn.

Image Courtesy: happilyunmarried.com

All this took place in slow motion for her. You see, time tends to slow down the longer you stand in a queue. Every minute becomes longer then the next and one gets the time to ponder upon every thought running in one’s mind till they simply run out eventually.

It was only after she had exhausted every other thought that her mind, craving activity, demanded that she divert herself studying those destined to sweat it out along with her to avoid doing so at home later.

It was then that the man and his valet had appeared from the sunlit doorway and proceeded to do the things they had.

Fast forwarding to five minutes later, when the man came out of the office, summoned his valet to get out of line and bring his car around. Their work there was done, the bill paid, the tea probably drunk and all without breaking a single drop of sweat.

Aghast was the word that she used to describe the expressions of her co –queue mates. Piercing stares followed the couple out the doors, looks probably reserved for the most hateful of criminals and dictators.

And the moment they left, chaos erupted throughout the office. And by chaos, I mean a wild, shouting, discourteous discourse between all those standing in the line. Maybe it wasn’t so dramatic but I’ve been assured it wasn’t murmured whispering of dissent either. Everyone was up in arms about the way that man’s bill had been paid for he had definitely come to pay the bill and he had done it by cutting the queue.

The Mindset

Cutting a queue is considered an act that is viler than even murder in India.

With such a population, queues always seem to be longer than the importance of work to be accomplished at the end of them. And although corruption is an accepted part of life now (debatable), it still invokes the kind of powerless hatred that comes with not being able to stop people who engage in it.

The Takeaway

At the end of this incident, an old woman made a very compelling statement that struck right at the heart of “educated” society. She said, and I paraphrase, “The way these literate people behave, it’s better to be illiterate.”

Such a poignant statement from one so experienced is not to be taken lightly and although the lady may be making a gross generalization enveloping all kinds of people under one umbrella of honesty and corruption, the thought dos have merit, at least in this case.

The Million Dollar Question

Assuming that you who read this are literate, allow me to pose a question:

Is the educated Indian really working towards abolishing corruption or engaging even more in its depravity?

Two boys: One Gay, the other a Terrorist

The boy who gained sympathy from the likes of Hillary Clinton and Ellen Degeneres for being worried about his future in a homophobic world is perhaps no different from the child who is brainwashed by terrorists and ordered to execute a Syrian soldier in cold blood.

Both these boys are rightfully afraid for their present and future because they live in a world where both of them are considered non-conformist, alien and diseases.

• One is scared of being shunned, the other of being shot.
• One is scared of being marginalized, the other of maximum security prison.
• One is scared of his father on Earth, the other of his father in Heaven.
• One lives in the closet, the other in the wilderness.
• One knows his choice will not change, the other does not have one.

It is easy for children to feel different from others, what is difficult is bringing them back. The world is becoming a harsh place for the very children who are to inherit this planet. The United Nations report on child rights, their conditions, nutrition and death is appalling.

And in the case of these two kids, the world is a much nastier place because malnutrition, diseases, poverty… these are accepted problems by the world community and everyone is, at least in concept, willing to work on these causes. But homophobia and hatred/fear towards child soldiers are not things governments are willing to talk about.

Image Courtesy: sodahead.com

A large section of the world criminalizes homosexuality and treats it more like a disease than a way of life. The basic human right of love and the freedom of expression are suppressed either by avoidance of discussion or by severe repercussions.

Image Courtesy: dailymail.co.uk

Child soldiers remain in the hands of their terrorist handlers long enough either to get killed by government forces or to grow up believing staunchly in the cause they kill and mutilate for. Then, there is no way back for them.

Engaging in meaningful dialogue through spread of awareness and strong action by governments are not enough. They are a step forward, sure, but not enough by any standard of measure. What the world needs is a change in mindset for people to accept diversity as part of human nature. The children need reassurance that the adult world is there to look out for them and no matter the cost, the future of the race will remain secure.

A #YehBhiMauka Moment for the “Other” Indian Sports

India has played a variety of sports since its Independence and gained prominence in many of them in various international competitions. However, in recent times, other sports have taken a very conspicuous back seat to the loud, boisterous and very heavily financed game of cricket.

India as a Sporting Disaster became even more prominent last year with its exclusion from the Olympics. However, with multiple gains in various games by the national teams, India seems to be taking its game to the next level once again. But as usual, these games aren’t getting much mileage and that is very disappointing from a nation that probably plays every game except rugby.

Here is why Indians have cause to celebrate its “Other” games:

The Men’s Hockey team is in the World League

The Indian team has already qualified for the Rio Olympics by winning the Asian games gold medal in 2014. Now they are going to play in the penultimate round of the World league and they still cannot garner the kind of support they should expect from their own nation. Let’s support them now and in the Olympics for they do bear the flag of the nation on their jersey and in their hearts.

Three Badminton Players are ranked in the Top 10

Olympic bronze medallist, Saina Nehwal is ranked second in the world in women’s Badminton. K Srikanth is placed third and Parupalli Kashyap is placed tenth in the men’s category. Moreover, PV Sindhu, Jwala Gutta and Ashwini Ponnappa are ranked in the top 20 in singles and doubles categories. If having six players from India ranking in the top 20 in various categories isn’t enough to support them, then what is?

Indian Football team is playing its 2^nd WC Qualifier

The Indian man’s football team is playing its second FIFA world cup qualifier against Oman after winning the first round against Nepal. This time, the team and management are expecting to go quite a long way and hope for the support of the country that has no expectations from the team due to their dismal past performances. In fact, no broadcaster except thenational channel acquiesced to even telecast it.

The Women’s Hockey Team is Playing in the World League

The women’s team will play the semi-final of the World league Hockey, same as the men and try to secure its spot in the final of this tournament as well as try to secure its place in the Rio Olympics, which it is yet to do. The nation needs to reminisce about Chak De India and really cheer both of its teams so that Indian Hockey can be proud to represent its nation.

#YehBhiMauka

Come on India, now is the time to Bleed Blue and support all our sports with the same vigour and spirit. Equal importance and enough motivation can work wonders. Tweet with the hash tag #YehBhiMauka to support all our sports because they too deserve your love and respect for being the champions that they are.

In Defence of a Sexist Prime Minister

According to our honourable Prime Minister, being intolerant of terrorism is a great thing, especially is someone manages it doing it despite having ovaries. Impressive, wouldn’t you say?

Well, everyone else thought so too. It is indeed quite spectacular to see the leader of the nation doling out a generous serving of a sexist “compliment” to the leader of a friendly nation. One would think he would also feel the same way about one of his predecessors who despite being the only the second woman Prime Minister in the world, held a dim view of the whole terrorist agenda in general.

Just innocent Prime Ministerial banter as usual.

Well, it would be wrong to place the blame for a sexist remark squarely onto his shoulders alone. He is merely the victim of the latent sexism and masochism and the patriarchal mindset that has been traditional in Indian politics for so long that people stopped talking about it in the last century.

Surely our beloved leader did not mean to degrade the office of a fellow Prime Minister and sound condescending in the worst way possible just because that country is indebted to ours for their very freedom. If it came to that, he could make the same innocent mistake with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff or say South Korean President Park Geun-hye.

In fact, there is a counterpoint to this whole thing which shows how much the PM cares about women, even those who don’t need it. His government recently refused to consider sending omen to the front lines in battle because guess what would happen if they were captured and held prisoners of war. Wonder what horrors await them in those concentration camps reserved especially for Indian soldiers in the country that uses pigeons as spies!

Although, I’m sure female soldiers would have preferred the Union Defence Minister treat them the same as their male counterparts. But, this is India, the land where women need to be kept safe from foreign assaults but can be raped, mutilated, murdered and thrown out of moving vehicles in the capital of the country. I’m sure they understand that.

So please stop criticizing the Prime Minister, at least when he is on a foreign visit. He represents our entire nation and our thoughts and our actions and our behaviour. He is the embodiment of all that we are and all that we aspire to be. To speak against the Prime Minister who has male genitalia and is flaunting his oratory skills in a foreign nation is against national interest.

Hope he had a better time than PM Sheikh Hasina.


Note: This post is a sarcastic take on what may or may not have been a highly sexist remark by one Head of Government to another. Definitely not to hurt anyone's feelings and sentiments. it is also not to debase or to defame our PM.

Indian Media teaches Sexism to School Children Now!

Today, the results of the CBSE class 12 results were announced across India and the kids seemed to have done pretty well. Although I don’t believe in the present system of examination myself, I’m sure we have a lot of proud parents today and others who are saying, “Look, Sharmaji’s son got 0.2% more than you! Which college will accept you now? You have destroyed your career and my reputation!”

Meanwhile the media is all about ‘Girls score better than boys!’ ‘Girls beat boys’ and so on and so forth all over social media. They’ll probably do the same thing on the front page of their newspapers tomorrow morning. And well, the news channels will be doing it right now. Really! Go check.

Ever since this dialogue of sexism has come to the forefront in India, we have been all about the empowerment of women and highlighting their successes and praising their leadership skills. All that is well and good and it is actually helping. But then the media goes ahead and creates the kind of tension that is counterproductive to everything else they think they’re doing for women empowerment.

Image Courtesy: dailymail.co.uk

While the only thing they’re doing is:

They’re creating unhealthy competition

Almost every media house in India has tweeted something to the effect that girls have performed better than boys in this academic year. What they don’t seem to realize is that they’re unconsciously widening the gender rift in academia which is already bad in India. Competition is good, but competition based on plain old gender divisive lines is ridiculous.

They’re creating familial rifts

Nobody can understand this point more than those who have risen in a house with a sibling of another gender. In a still very much patriarchal Indian society, a boy scoring less than a girl is perceived as a shame as it is assumed that the boy is going to be the breadwinner of the family. Looking at such headlines from the family perspective, the media is just putting more pressure on boys to do well. No wonder cases of suicides are going up every year.

Their idea of feminism is as evolved as a chimpanzee

The media wants to empower women but they either don’t know or don’t want to believe that feminism does not encourage putting one gender over the other. It is not about demeaning boys but about bring everyone to the same level. By saying, ‘girls outshine boys’ the only thing they’re proving is that they’re knowledge of feminism is as much as the politicians they label ‘sexist’.

Oh Indian media, when will you figure out what you're really doing?