The Beef in Pakistan and the Ministerial Menu

The beef ban has become one big case of political posturing – deity worshiping – non vegetarian atrocity that has taken not one but two countries by storm. Sorry, three, you’ve got to count Nepal too.

The latest controversy in this cow murdering tale of dark comedy is Kiren Rjiju, Minister of State for home Affairs taking a pot shot at fellow Union Minister of State for Minority Affairs, Mukhtar Abaas Naqvi, for a comment that went basically like, “Want beef? Go to Pakistan. It’s awesome there!”

Now one might easily be confused as to whether the Naqvi is an Indian Minister in the Union government or the Minister of Tourism for Pakistan but the Indian Secretariat website calmly assures us that the Pakistan tourism thing is just a side job that’s totally legal because hey, why not?

I'm delicious & you know it!
Image Courtesy: says.com

Now Rijiju said that we shouldn’t be touchy about people’s food habits and when the PM (and I’m just guessing here) called and reminded him that he was also part of the government, Rijiju promptly blamed the media for misquoting him because that’s the most plausible answer given the circumstances.

Well, he then said that what he meant was actually not what he said and what he said was not what the media interpreted correctly but now what he was saying was not what he said earlier but something different to the effect that the Hindu religious population was a majority in some places and a minority in other places and that Arunachal Pradesh was better at cooking beef than Pakistan.

Got all that? Good. (Hahaha, I didn’t either)

So basically, by his logic, if all the Hindus in all the states got together to ban beef, the whole country would have cows jamming traffic in the middle of busy intersections? Damn.

Note: I'm not trying to hurt anyone's religious feelings but in case you're hurt, don't say the title didn't warn you.

The Happily Ever After Party

The Big Fat Indian weddings have been famous and notorious all over the world for being beautiful and mind-bogglingly expensive. They are pompous, extravagant, have lots of unnecessary trappings and are, as mentioned before (bordering on the obscene) expensive. But it is all in the name of tradition. One can put the blame on the endless line of predecessors who thought fit to celebrate their union by throwing insane parties that lasted anywhere between three days and a week. Inviting people from all corners of the empire/country to gape in awe at the kick-ass way they could afford to feed a host by blowing up all their life savings in one huge bash. 

But weddings are seldom recognized to be what they may or may not have originally meant to be, that is a gathering of the community, meeting and reminiscing about what has happened and the opportunity to meet new people and develop contacts with possibly related or similar minded people over long distances. After all, that was a time when the word communication meant travelling vast distances and meeting up with relatives only a few times in many years.

But today, though there may not seem to be a difference in Indian weddings, I feel there are subtle changes taking place within the mindsets of people. There are several factors contributing to the change in the wedding scenario in today’s world, I've tried to bring up a few here.

First of all, is the factor of cost. With democracy and taxes and inflation, the expense incurred in marriages have risen up exponentially which means that the more people one invites, the more their bank balance dwindles. Everything, ranging from taxi rent, hotel bookings, the pundit/priest, the halls and food have prices shooting through the roof. Then there is also the cost the bride’s father has to pay to get his daughter married. Arranging a wedding, decorating a girl in gold, bestowing lavish gifts upon the groom and feeding an army can certainly be a tad expensive.

The second factor is that of communication. In today’s world, in contrast to yesterday’s, is the benefit of greater communication ability. One can talk and meet people with anytime with those once magical instruments called the “flying chariot” and “akaashvani.”  It is unnecessary and also virtually impossible to invite all the people you know because due to technology today, one may have contacts with millions of people around the world. So unless one is the sheikh of someplace or owns maybe a dozen oilfields, so many people cannot be invited.

The third and last factor affecting the Indian wedding is the change in generation and hence the evolution of thinking and freedom from age old traditions that bound the older ones. The Indian society is subtly changing, independent thought processes are getting bolder and are gaining impetus largely due to the social media and interaction with people in other parts of the world. The present Indian youth seems to be distancing themselves from their culture, not in a way that is defiant but in a way that promotes rational thinking and gives rise to the freedom of thought independent of their parents and grandparents. Marriage has no longer retained its traditional meaning today. Anybody can and possibly will marry anyone they want. They might also feel it was a mistake and marry again. Orthodox thinking today is making way for the future in which everyone is a master of one’s own fate and is hardly if ever controlled by others. Now if you’re going to marry more than once, can you afford that bash again? Because your parents sure can’t.

Note: This is the author’s personal view and has been written with statistics in his own head. He has merely written what he has observed in his surroundings. If one holds a different view, the comment box is begging for your thoughts.

Haiku #6 – Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

With empty bellies,

Standing under heaven’s door;

The Lord will provide.

The Kitli: Much more than just Tea

Everyone may not know what I’m referring to, so in public interest, I will first explain what a Kitli is. A Kitli is the roadside stall that serves tea. That is at least the basic definition of what it is and what it does. It is, in my opinion, much more than what it appears to be. It is not only made up of the guy who makes and serves tea; rather it is the gathering of peoples, the makings of a family, the mixing of cultures, a potpourri of thoughts, the generator of ideas, the stirring of emotions and somewhere perhaps the beginning of a revolution.

Image Courtesy: Joel George.

I know that above sentence must have taken you by surprise but kindly bear with me while I attempt to clear my thoughts and explain my point. The kitliwala does not only sell tea, but also cigarettes, minor snacks and a lot of information and local gossip by extension.

The Kitli is therefore...

A Social platform. People from anywhere and everywhere gather in one place, not with the particular intention of mingling but it is something that happens automatically among those who are frequent visitors to a particular kitli. Exchanging common courtesies like passing the tea, holding the plate, lighting a cigarette and asking for change often lead to conversations, sharing of incidences, common friends, gossip, fun, fights and more often than not, a closer bond among those kitli-goers. After a few visits, even the kitli owner is familiar with the order you usually place, your brand of cigarette and whether you have cash to pay him or not!

A Newsroom. Kitliwalas subscribe to at least three different newspapers for their customers. At least the ones I visit do. Customers often ask for the papers while sipping their morning tea or while chatting over their evening snacks. This leads to a lot of information being shared along with maskabuns and omelettes. People all over the place recount incidences of similar happenings in their part of the city and whether one realizes it or not, one does certainly become aware of what’s happening in their city simply by visiting the kitli.

A Platform for discussion. Students, employees, players, officers… all visit this place to discuss the most important aspects of what they do, what should they be doing, what is happening, what’s wrong with it and how it can be rectified. Groups of people gather at the kitli with a certain purpose too, though it may seem unlikely. These gatherings focus around certain subjects and often lead to strong or heated discussions/arguments within the group. But ultimately, everyone makes up with a hot cup of cutting chai and one cigarette being shared by everyone. Discussions here often lead to serious decisions by individuals and can affect their mindset. Opinions change, faith is reinforced, doubts arise and fate is changed all because of a talk at the innocuous roadside kitli.

This has been my experience at the kitli; you are welcome to share yours. It’s always good to hear stories, because after all, it is stories that make up this world, not atoms.

Image Courtesy: Joel George.