Ahmedabad, you don’t deserve Diwali

Do you celebrate Diwali by bursting crackers? Do you do so on the street? Then this is just the post for you.

Dear entitled, illiterate, rich leech,

You are quite the explosives expert and you certainly have the means to purchase expensive firecrackers and burst them in front of your family, friends, neighbours and anyone else who would like to compete with you in your little phallus measuring contest.

And just because you can afford these things, you think you are entitled to do so wherever and whenever you wish without a care for those who are too evolved, too mature or just too tired from a hard day’s work to stoop down to your level of utter stupidity.

You are indiscriminate

You are the ones who live in big bungalows and high rises but prefer to burst your crackers out on the street because you either don’t want to spoil your squeaky clean colony or disturb your immediate neighbours because they will actually do something about your ridiculous behaviour. So, you decide to burst your crackers out on the street without a care for either pedestrians or drivers. You are a glutton for punishment.

You are callous

You are the ones with the big cars and thousands of rupees worth of crackers who dare not burst them in your colony and so you drive to the street, far from your house, and do so in the middle of the road, all the while shamelessly laughing at your own callousness and the discomfort of others. Your parents should be ashamed of what you have become.

You are dumb

You believe that since the road is public property, your daddy owns it. Surprise you idiot, he doesn’t. We all, and that includes the people you don’t care about, have paid to have these roads built and maintained and we have the right to safe passage without have to bother about getting set on fire or meeting with an accident just because you decided it was fun to throw crackers onto the road. You need more education.

You are like irritating insects

Just like the drone of a fly or the bite of a mosquito, you are the sound that irritates this city. Just because you have the money to buy a truckload of crackers does not mean you are entitled to burst them till one in the night. You violate the basic right of peace when you decide you haven’t had enough fun and continue burning all the excess money that you have in a spectacular display of fireworks. You need to see a counsellor.

You make the police brutal

You complain about the police chasing you away from the roadside and tea shops at night. You think that they are being too brutal and that if they did their job right, you wouldn’t have to suffer for it. But, what you don’t realize, you little dung beetle, is that the police would rather have you off the streets than have to clean up after your racing matches, your loud music, your vulgar behaviour and your drunken brawls. You are not fit to be left unattended on the roads of this city.

You are a disgrace to Gujarati society

Gujarati society claims to be one of the warmest in the country, one that welcomes other cultures with open arms and invites them to live peacefully within it. You however, are the boil on the city that is the face of Gujarati culture. You fill Ahmedabad with pus and disfigure it with your hideous ideas of selfishness, uncaring attitude, and blatant disregard for your fellow human beings. It is because of you that the whole country believes that the people of this city just want to make money and show it off without displaying any signs of respect for education, humanity, communal harmony, equality or intellectualism.

You spoil the image of the entirety of the city’s youth. You deserve nothing.

The Year is New, but are Your Priorities?

Everyone’s excited about the new year that began on January 1^st. Excited about a new beginning, a new resolution, a new twist to lie, a promise to oneself, new changes, new attitudes, new, new, new…

But is that really the case?

Do we really look forward to a new year or look back and enjoy the memories of milestones past. Are we just content to look back and not bother much about what lies ahead?

Image Courtesy: discussionist.com

If yes, then why rejoice for all the things accomplished at the end of this calendar year? Why not think of what didn’t happen this year? Why not think of what more could have been done this year? Why not reflect upon things that still require attention?

Some examples if you please.

Everyone in India went gaga over the fact that the country now has 1 billion telecom users. Yay! The country is now connected, right?

But what about the fact that India’s population is 1.2 billion, which leaves about 0.2 billion people still without a phone?

And what about the fact that there are 4 billion people in the world still not connected to the internet according to CNN Money? That’s four times the people who just use telecom services in India.

How about the 1.6 billion people in the world who have no sort of electricity at all if the World Bank is to be believed? How come these people don’t have a light in their homes this new year while we celebrate?

But the best and most apt comparison is that the United Nations claims there are 1 billion people in the world who defecate in the open even today. Well, how about that? What about them?

If you need to think, think of what is still left to do instead of lying back and basking in the glory of things already achieved. These are the things that need to be done this year.

Make a promise to help in whatever little way you can, for every small measure helps in making this world in the words of the immortal Michael Jackson:

A better place for you and for me and the entire human race…

Santa Claus: The Salesman with Claws

Having emerged from the Christmas season, which is not yet over, a not-so changed man, I wonder how many actually did bring about a change in their lives in this year.

Well Christmas is indeed a time of cheer and goodwill among men but it is also the international standard for sales targets, advertising budget overruns, depleting savings and burning through piles of hard earned cash – all in the name of the Lord.

Image Courtesy: batman.wikia.com

Well, that’s at least what I’ve heard some of the clergy say this year what with the birthday boy, Jesus himself, disappearing out of the whole Christmas picture with every passing year. To put it into perspective, there seems to be a feeling that Jesus didn’t get invited to his own birthday party because somebody brought the cake, another brought the drinks, a third brought the food and the fourth brought the dessert and there was nobody left to inform the guy for whom they actually threw the party.

Sounds weird?

Some seem to be concerned that the commercialization of festivals has led Santa Claus to become an even bigger idol that Jesus today. And that should worry the leaders off the church if it doesn’t already. One has to admit, it is great for the propagation of religion but the essence as such keeps losing significance.

To kids today, Christmas seems to mean nothing other than the fact that their parents getting them gifts, for teenagers it’s all about the parties, for young adults it’s a day off of work and the others, some time to spend with the family.

This obviously doesn’t hold true for everyone but observation has led me to believe that the importance of Christmas has dwindled down to just the poster boy of a soft drinks company and means nothing more than just another holiday.

Image Courtesy: www.youthareawesome.com

It is just like what happens to other festivals celebrated here in India that I’ve written about in this post on Durga puja. But well, something needs to be done to drive sales and what better way than appealing  to peoples sentiments that inadvertently force them to show their love towards their family by having them make money for companies.

In the memorable words of Lord Cutler Bekett from Pirates of the Caribbean:

It’s just good business…

Image Courtesy: www.reddit.com

A very Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year!

Note: This post is not meant to be disrespectful to any religion, people or God/s. It is just my personal opinion on what I've observed in my vicinity. Any connection to people (living or dead) or Companies (and franchises) or Gods (and Goddesses) is merely coincidental and is not deliberately meant.

The World in Goa

Goa is the land of beaches, is situated in the lap of nature and is steeped in history that is inclusive of both Indian and Portuguese culture. Well that is an understatement actually because over the years, as Goa has increasingly developed as a tourism hotspot, she has amalgamated cultures from all over the world and accepted them as her own. In the heart of Goa, I can truly see the world!

People from everywhere come to Goa to enjoy her sandy seashores, soak up her sunshine and devour her savoury sausages. Travellers from the UK, France, Germany, USA and Russia are a common sight here, mingling with the locals and even speaking a little bit of Konkani to get into the Goan spirit. A lot of shops in the bustling markets of Mapusa and Panjim have signboards inscribed with English, Konkani and Russian as well. It goes to show how well the state has learned to cope with the influx of foreign tourism of which they seem to have an endless flow throughout the year.

Calangute beach, Goa, India

‘Atithi Devo Bhava’ is a slogan that is close to the Indian heart. As hosts, we attempt to be most gracious and welcoming, for that is what we have been taught through the ages. And I saw the best example of this Indian hospitality in Goa. We travelled in city buses everywhere since we wanted to get to really ‘see’ Goa. The conductors in those buses, when they realized that we were tourists, kept asking us to take seats that weren't occupied. They kept asking us please be seated. It was… new and a very refreshing attitude. I now know another reason why tourism is at such a high in Goa, its people.

Since we went there for Christmas, we were invited to a house for Christmas lunch and I didn't feel detached from my family here in Gujarat at all. It was as if our hosts were our own, so freely did they mingle with us, talking about everything from cuisine and culture to national and international politics over single malt scotch. They served us a mix of Portuguese and traditional Goan cuisine that I had not tasted in a very long time. Christmas really feels how it should in Goa. Fabulous!

There is no dividing line between western and eastern civilizations in Goa. National borders blur when everyone is just trying to have a good time and relax. Religion, race and colour refuse to be barricades in this wonderful place and perhaps that is why Goa feels like the last bastion of world unity in India. Identities are not important, nor are languages. People speak with smiles here and that is what enamours anyone who ventures into this land.

There is a saying in Goa that people very rarely go hungry at night but are never denied a drink. This does not mean that liquor is very important here, it only goes to show the generosity of the people here. If someone is standing outside a bar, it is not possible that nobody will buy that person a drink. It does not in any way imply that the people are drunkards; it is to say that these people enjoy the good things in life and help others enjoy it too.

This is my toast to Goa, the place where the World is One entity and lives and breathes as One soul.

Viva Goa!

Forced Colours

The pan-Indian festival of Holi is upon us. On this day, people play with colours, water and whatever colouring agents they can lay their hands on. Others celebrate it by beating their husbands with sticks. But usually, it is done with colours.

People in my part of India and especially my city are mad for Dhuleti. Actually Holi is the serious festival and Dhuleti is the fun one, so most of the people in my age group are more interested in the day after Holi. People stock up on colours days and weeks before the event. It is the day when everything is forgotten. Religions, caste, creed, age and sex go out of the window for this festival caters to one and all. No grudges are held, no limits are drawn, and it is a complete free-for-all. Even people who don’t know each other throw colours on each other and on passersby going down the road.

Image Courtesy: Google Images/Thomas Hawk.

But this joviality is also a problem. Sometimes it just goes overboard. People tend to do things they would never do normally. Things they would even abhor and not be seen doing in other circumstances. But the colour is their mask, their protection from the roving eyes of the world. They can do anything and everything; it is the day when Dr. Jekyll willingly sets Mr. Hyde free to do as he likes.

But not everyone wants to play with colours. Some have reasons and some don’t, but they know that they don’t want to play. And that is the problem. People just won’t accept the fact that someone doesn't like to or want to play with colours. It is a given that everyone has to compulsorily do so. Along with all the joviality and fun, people also seem to lose their common sense and sensibilities on that day. They don’t tend to think of the reasons why people might not want to join in the loads of fun that their having.

It never seems to occur to them that there may be a myriad of problems, physical, psychological and societal, that may prevent people from having themselves coloured like the canvas of a four year old.

Now, it may seem from above that I don’t like colours. Wrong! I love colours and till I finished school, this used to be my favourite festival, but then something painful happened in the festive week that scarred me. I can no longer celebrate this festival without horrible memories of that incident giving me nightmares. Just like me, I’m sure there will be others suffering a similar fate. People with reasons they cannot tell anyone, others who cannot express. People like us just tend to say “NO” and expect people to respect that decision. It seldom turns out that way.

I’m writing this post in the hope that all those who read it will be compassionate to those who do not or cannot play Holi. I do this in the hope that on that day, people enjoy, but don’t force people to enjoy. And I hope and pray that everyone has a safe Dhuleti.

Haiku #8 – On Uttarayan…

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

The Kite soared above,

And then down she came crashing;

Killer? Homonym.

A Christmas Realization

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way”, I can hear the choir sing as they move from one street to the next, spreading the joy of Christmas.

I go to the window of my first floor apartment and gaze upon the myriad of colours that stare back at me from the multitude of lights upon the neighbour’s giant Christmas tree. The silver bells, the little drummer boy, Frosty the snowman and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer hang there in oblivious calm and apparent joy at the birth of the saviour.

It is no longer a silent night. Noisy crowds jostling through the lanes; trying to get home for Christmas, attempting to buy last minute items, getting last minute gifts and renting out Santa costumes.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

This winter wonderland hardly gives me any peace, so far away from home am I. In a different city, a big town. No mangers here, no real life plays of the birth, no family, just the loneliness of this room and the desolation of a lost Christmas in work.

Mother had called me, she had been crying. She said, “Please come home for Christmas” but I said I couldn't. Not if I wanted to keep my job. I needed the job, badly so. She cried some more then. I couldn't bear it and slammed the phone. Cruel, but necessary nonetheless.

It is starting to snow now. A White Christmas had been predicted but had seemed unlikely. This was a problem. How was I to go now? Yes, I’d decided to go the moment I put down the telephone. To hell with the job and to hell with this city. I could be a farming man once more, like my old man.  I’d called mama right back and told her, “I’ll be home for Christmas.”

Living in this strange city I've realized that there’s no place like home. My bags are packed, I’m ready to go. Oh little town of Bethlehem, I’m coming home.

And as for the weather, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…

Note: This is a work of fiction. It is integrated with a collage of Christmas carols in the spirit of the season. Have a very merry Christmas and a fruitful New year!

A Fourth of November Resolution

Today is the first day of the Vikram Savant 2070, according to the Hindu calendar. It is the day of starting anew and being done and dusted with the old. But it’s also the day after Diwali. People being forced to wake up early in the morning with a massive hangover, getting dressed to meet pasty faced relatives whom they only meet in wedding receptions, being fed sweets all day long and then sleep with such severe acidity that the first day of the year couldn't have been more tragic.

However, this year, my Diwali has been pretty quiet owing to a number of factors including those of sickness and general laziness. But, since it’s New Year and we people (being dumb) take resolutions on this day, I decided to take one too – for a change.

It happened just a couple hours back. I was just spread on a chair, browsing through a blue coloured social networking site when I noticed that one of my exes was online and I immediately opened up a dialogue box and started a conversation, I still don’t know why. I chatted for quite an hour or so on how we had been and how life was treating us. I might have made one or two sarcastic statements, but on the whole it was quite pleasant and I even suggested getting in touch again, despite my nature not being inclined to do anything of that sort.

Later, when I had a moment to think back upon what I had done, I wondered if I had indeed begun a new chapter with an old friend or rather just scratched open an old wound that had just healed. It was a bit confusing at first, for I had gone against my nature and made contact with someone I broken ties with, with the more I thought upon the subject, the more I realized that I had forgiven her. That I had no latent feelings of hate towards her and for that matter, I never had. I had just been heartbroken but I had never thought ill about her. All this time I was running away not from her but from myself and my feelings! How absurd!

So, my resolution on this November New Year is that I shall try to repair all relationships strained accidentally or knowingly, in jealously, in spite or in innocence. I shall endeavour to build bonds again. Let this New Year indeed be a new beginning for all relationships broken, severed and shattered.

A happy New Year to all!