Stuck in Smoke: The Fear of Police Brutality

As a journalist, coming home late is so normal that no time is late anymore per se but by normal standards, yes it was. And by late, I mean almost midnight.

This was a good day and since I did come back fast, I hadn’t had anything to eat. So I went to get a vada pav, which in case you’re wondering is a fried potato patty stuffed inside a bun and heated on a pan, sometimes with cheese.

The Incident

I just wanted to get the vada pav and get back home but no, events have to conspire on the one day I get home fast and that’s what happened here.

I got to the shop, ordered my cheese vada pav and then started reading the menu because there really isn’t much you can do while you wait. By the time I read half of it, my order was done and as I reached over the counter to take the parcel, I heard the shutters come down. Turning around, I saw one of the workers signalling all of us customers to be quiet and loudly whisper – POLICE.

I saw the time and sure enough, it was 12:00 am. The police had obviously come to shut down everything and we had been unlucky to be inside the place at that time.

It was then that it began. One of the dozen or so customers asked if the police would beat us if they found us. I thought he must be joking but turning around I saw that he and his friends were earnestly discussing this possibility which amused and worried me at the same time. Then the employees shut the lights off and the murmurs grew louder.

It amused me because I believe that the police could not beat us up for being there but I was apprehensive because I didn’t know for sure what the police would do. ‘Could’ and ‘would’ – the difference between knowing how things ideally work and not knowing how things will actually take place.

Image Courtesy: schmidtgs2.wikispaces.com

After ten minutes or so of this conversation, an employee got an all-clear phone call from the other side of the shutter and he opened it just a little and let us out in pairs. It reminded me of a couple of movies where people are trying to cross international borders.

And I thought to myself,

“Are things really so bad?”

“Why is there fear even on a normal day in a busy part of the city?”

“Are these people right in mistrusting the police?”

“Do we need to fear the very people in charge of protecting us?”

“Is this paranoia or years of ingrained reality?”

And the most important thought,

“Is this the fear of one person creeping into all in a distressing environment or is this a mutual repressed feeling being triggered by a mere mention of atrocity?”

The Implications

The latter thought is scarier than the former and if true, needs to be addressed by the Ahmedabad City Police at the earliest because if the people don’t trust their protectors, who are they going to put their faith into?

The Next Step

I hope this post reaches the police department because I figure they should be concerned even if this is an isolated incident, which isn’t very likely.

10 ways living in a boys PG is more horrifying than you think

Some of you already know that living out of your house is not great and all is not hunky-dory but only when you go to live in a boy’s PG do you actually get to experience hell-on-earth. It is a truly enlightening experience.

1. There’s a distinct lack of privacy

 Privacy? Ha-ha, what is that? This is the state I have had to live in for the past five years. Over time I’ve sort of become an expert on the subject with people peering into my computer screen, looking at my texts, opening my cupboard and generally being more of a nuisance then they tend to be everywhere else. It is more like a community shelter. I’ve often wondered why I pay to live at these places and then I realize that my job pays me so much that I can’t afford my own place without mortgaging myself and nobody will even accept as collateral.

2. Even your bottles get stolen

You have to get used to the fact that you no longer buy things for yourself but for everyone who ventures into your room to use your deodorant, eat your snacks, drink your juice, sleep on your bed and even drink the water that you kept in the fridge five hours ago so that it could get cold. In the end, you still get to drink hot water in 45 degrees Celsius. Your things get used and then they don’t even get replaced because you obviously brought it for everyone to use. You stop expecting people to fill your bottle and keep it after they drink from it because no matter how much you scream at them, indiscipline is the only principle that is followed with religious zeal everywhere.

3. There’s no space to even walk around breathe!

The paying guest business is booming and if I had enough money, I’d buy a place and rent it out too but since I don’t I’m waiting for someone to gift me some property. In the meantime, PGs are so cluttered that you are overwhelmed with the sheer number of people in your vicinity. I had a sense of personal space about five years ago. It got violated the first time I stepped into a PG and I’ve never managed to reclaim it ever since. You gradually realize that the only place you have a modicum of actual unadulterated air to breathe is on your own bed. The moment you get up, it’s like a Mumbai local but with considerably less chances of getting thrown out and dying.

4. Food habits change with every new place

Like South Indian food? Like Punjabi? Like Indian-Chinese? Like Gujarati fafda-jalebi? Sorry, who cares what you like. Most PGs hire people who can cook a maximum of two types of food. Sometimes, it’s just one type. So if you manage to find a place that serves different food on different days, you’re in luck but if you’re getting too cocky, don’t. You never know when the cook might get changed for stealing, making everyone sick or because of a payment issue. You might want to search out a safe alternative place that will deliver food to wherever you stay. It makes life much easier. But you always have the option of staying alive on tea, biscuits, wafers and good old Maggi. Damn! Is that an endorsement? Will I go to jail?

5. Contracting a communicable disease is relatively easy

Did you read the third point where I said that… just go and read it. On the other hand, if you did, you now know how it would be as easy as one sneeze, one cough, one handshake, one snot-barrage to spread any air-borne or touch-based communicable disease. PGs are what you can describe as the perfect environment for malign viruses and bacterium to flourish. It can take anywhere between three days and a week for the common cold to infect everyone. Now you know why I had myself checked for swine flu every time I coughed or sneezed. If you didn’t already know how dangerous this disease is, go check the stats, this article can wait. And now imagine that you are living in a place looks clean but harbours more diseases than the WHO lab in World War Z.

[This is my article for the Youth Connect magazine. You can read the entire article here: 10 Ways living in a Boy's PG is more horrifying than you think]

In Defence of a Sexist Prime Minister

According to our honourable Prime Minister, being intolerant of terrorism is a great thing, especially is someone manages it doing it despite having ovaries. Impressive, wouldn’t you say?

Well, everyone else thought so too. It is indeed quite spectacular to see the leader of the nation doling out a generous serving of a sexist “compliment” to the leader of a friendly nation. One would think he would also feel the same way about one of his predecessors who despite being the only the second woman Prime Minister in the world, held a dim view of the whole terrorist agenda in general.

Just innocent Prime Ministerial banter as usual.

Well, it would be wrong to place the blame for a sexist remark squarely onto his shoulders alone. He is merely the victim of the latent sexism and masochism and the patriarchal mindset that has been traditional in Indian politics for so long that people stopped talking about it in the last century.

Surely our beloved leader did not mean to degrade the office of a fellow Prime Minister and sound condescending in the worst way possible just because that country is indebted to ours for their very freedom. If it came to that, he could make the same innocent mistake with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff or say South Korean President Park Geun-hye.

In fact, there is a counterpoint to this whole thing which shows how much the PM cares about women, even those who don’t need it. His government recently refused to consider sending omen to the front lines in battle because guess what would happen if they were captured and held prisoners of war. Wonder what horrors await them in those concentration camps reserved especially for Indian soldiers in the country that uses pigeons as spies!

Although, I’m sure female soldiers would have preferred the Union Defence Minister treat them the same as their male counterparts. But, this is India, the land where women need to be kept safe from foreign assaults but can be raped, mutilated, murdered and thrown out of moving vehicles in the capital of the country. I’m sure they understand that.

So please stop criticizing the Prime Minister, at least when he is on a foreign visit. He represents our entire nation and our thoughts and our actions and our behaviour. He is the embodiment of all that we are and all that we aspire to be. To speak against the Prime Minister who has male genitalia and is flaunting his oratory skills in a foreign nation is against national interest.

Hope he had a better time than PM Sheikh Hasina.


Note: This post is a sarcastic take on what may or may not have been a highly sexist remark by one Head of Government to another. Definitely not to hurt anyone's feelings and sentiments. it is also not to debase or to defame our PM.

This Seat is Reserved - Five ways to grab seats in a public bus

In India, public transport is cheap as it is want to be and there is a lot of public to use this transportation as is evident from the population of this country. There is always a mad rush to get into these buses, especially by people who travel to other cities to work. Added to this force are irregulars who just want to go to the other city. The resulting crowd goes so berserk at the site of a us that the people are pushed aside, pushed, pulled, shoved and crammed into a vehicle 10 years past its decommissioning date.

Almost... there... aaahhh...
Image Courtesy: theembarrassment.wordpress.com

So we Indians, as usual, have a jugaad for this not-getting-seat problem too. Our ingenuity truly is visible only in such times of desperation. Here are things people do to get a seat on public transport:

The Bag Throwers

People going to work tend to carry bags but people here sometimes carry bags just to throw them through the windows into empty seats. These people then take their own time climbing into the bus since they’ve assured their seat on it. They will then ascend as the bus starts to move, push past the other bewildered and mumbling passengers to pick up their bag and enjoy the seat they reserved not by being first in the queue but first to an empty window seat.

It looks so innocent... just lying there
Image Courtesy: langyaw.com

The Handkerchief People

Now that you know about the ‘Baggies’, we now move on to the ‘Hankies’. These people are too lazy to carry a bag so they use what is essentially a necessary product for everyday life – a handkerchief – to reserve their seats. The technique is the same as above but instead of big and marginally heavy bags; they use a piece of cotton cloth that passes as a ticket in public transport. And, it is completely valid as long s the conductor doesn’t interfere.

The ‘Taken’ Neighbours

No, these are not people whom Liam Neeson has saved from foreign gangsters. These are people who ask other to reserve their seats for them if they manage to climb up before them. The regular travellers develop a kind of bonding that happens when you spend a lot of time smelling each other’s armpits and borrowing newspapers to read on the commute. This, in turn helps them save places for each other so they can discuss which character did what horrible thing to another character on some television show.

Sorry, Occupado!
Image Courtesy: thestar.com

The Regulars

As mentioned earlier, the people who commute are the majority on these buses and over time, they sort of start respecting each other’s places like what usually happens in school or college. But even then, there is always some smartass newbie who thinks he/she can sit wherever they want. These people are scorned and the seats reclaimed even if that person get up to adjust their bag in the overhead holding deck. And the others, they just nod their approval in sadistic satisfaction.

Get off my seat... NOW!
Image Courtesy: worldnomads.com

The Legitimates

Well, these people don’t bother with the rush and the long lines and the pushing and shoving; they already have a ticket. For those who don’t know, people in public transport buses can buy tickets before or after climbing into buses. The ‘Legitimates’ are the only group of people who seem to have mastered the art of being wholly cool and buying their ticket at the counter. They stand round, saunter in and take their place reserved with an ‘X’. If there is an unreserved passenger sitting there, they will be reprimanded for their transgression with the show of a ticket. Fights often erupt because of their cocky nature.

Yeah, that's right. Yes, I do have a ticket.
Image Courtesy: wricities.org

Keeping the Peace: The UN Peacekeeping Force

The world celebrates the UN Peacekeeping Day today, the 29^th of May, but it hardly garners attention anywhere except in the camps of 16 operation bases around the world where the Peacekeeping force is striving to bring stability, establish the rule of law and end conflicts without resorting to war.

Strife is a global phenomenon and even now multiple armed conflicts are in progress either in the form of ethnic clashes, civil war, terrorism, dictatorships, coups or full scale war. More often than not, it is superpowers that intervene by either coercing or forcing both parties to co-operate and act as mediator but it may also happen that these nations may take sides in these conflicts.

This is the time where the need for a global non-partisan peacekeeping force betrays its importance. The UN Peacekeeping Force, comprising of personnel from all over the world, is the perfect third party to bring about a resolution to conflict.

The biggest contributors to the force are not the nations you expect. Expect surprises in the figures below which have been sourced from the UN website. These are the total number of personnel contributed by the nation:

1. Bangladesh – 9307
2. Pakistan – 8163
3. India – 8112
4. Ethiopia – 7864
5. Rwanda – 5575
6. Nepal – 5316
7. Senegal – 3570
8. Ghana - 3053
9. Nigeria - 2975
10. Egypt – 2937

Well, wasn’t that a surprise? Apart from the fact that none of the five nations that comprise of the United Nations Security Council feature in this list, the fact that the nations of the Indian sub-continent rank in the top 6 certainly show how much these nations and African countries who complete this list actually strive for world peace in spite of claims that they don’t contribute to the war on terror.

Image Courtesy: defencetalks.net

Although China makes it to the 11^th rank in the list of contributors to the Peacekeeping Force, the rest of the Big 5 are nowhere near. Here are the contributions of the Permanent seat holders in the UNSC:

1. China – 2899
2. France – 924
3. UK – 288
4. Germany – 194
5. USA – 95

This however, is not a condemnation of nations but a realization that those on whom the least expectation is placed often turn out to be front-runners in hindsight. It must also be noted that although these ‘developed’ nations my not directly be involved in the peacekeeping Force, they are the ones leading the alliance against major terrorist forces in the world today.

Although the force of arms is hardly the correct way to bring about peace, it is sometimes required to bring to sense to those who would prefer violence over cordial means and chaos over stability to establish control. This makes the UN Peacekeeping Force not just an interlocutor but a necessity in these times of grave turmoil.

On this day, the world should remember the lives given for the greater good of the world. People in conflict zones are actually thankful for the role these brave men and women have played in bringing some amount of calm to their days of unending warfare and nights filled with sobs stemming from constant nightmares. These angels of peace in Blue are worthy of the respect and reverence reserved for the highest form of sacrifice above and beyond the call of duty.

Will Palmyra suffer the fate of the Buddha?

It is international news of great distress that in spite of US claims of air strikes killing scores of ISIS terrorists, the group has made great advances into Syrian territory, today even seizing the ancient city of Palmyra, a UN World Heritage site.

History dates the settlement of Palmyra to 7500 BC. That is a hell of a lot back in time than anyone would like to think of. Documents from various parts of the ancient world describe the city in eloquent details and it seems to be as famous as Babylon or Constantinople in ancient trading standards.

Ruins at Palmyra.
Image Courtesy: UNESCO.

In case it isn’t clear, the Buddha referred to in the title are the Bamiyan Buddhas statues in Afghanistan (built in the 6^th century AD) which were destroyed by the Taliban when they seized control of the area near Kabul. They were dynamited and horribly defaced because the leaders of the Taliban believed them to be idols and hence, blasphemous.

Bamiyan Buddhas.
Image Courtesy: worldarcheology.com

Now, another heritage site, which predates the Bamiyan Buddhas my millennia, has come under the control of another extremist organization that may or may not decide to disturb the remnants left by ancient humanity by blowing it up in response to airstrikes by coalition forces.

Extremist organizations throughout history have wanted power but have had a distinct lack of respect for culture and heritage. Well, it does make sense that those who cannot value human life will not value history. Julius Caesar’s Roman legions set fire to the Library of Alexandria, which, if it were standing, would be the single most important point of reference for world history. In recent history, Hitler’s Nazi army seized a lot of art from Europe and a lot of it was destroyed or lost when the Third Reich fell.

It is now the duty of international organizations to intervene on behalf of humanity to ensure that these ancient ruins are kept out of this war. It is time the United Nations stop issuing impotent protests and actually galvanizes some real effort into preserving this historical city.

Because what are we, if not the sum of our collective history?

I Founded my own Country!

“Give me Liberty, Give me Land, Give me Liberland!”

This is what Vit Jedlicka, the founder of a 7 sq km piece of land on the Danube River probably shouted at politicians from both Serbia and Croatia when they told him he couldn’t just go to an unclaimed piece of land and set up his own damn country. Why he asks? Because it’s apparently nuts!

Well, ask Jedlicka and his merry band of Liberlanders? Liberians? Liberlandians? Liberties? If they give a damn about what anyone says about their state of mind as they hoist their flag, sing their new national anthem and being totally awesome by giving the finger to their collective governments who made the mistake of allowing dual citizenship because they thought their citizens were responsible adults. Yeah, these people come from all parts of the world. I wanted to go to but it seems India does not trust its people like the Turkish government does.

There are a surprising number of self-styled Presidents and Kings and Dukes who’ve tried in the past and keep trying in the present to establish their own nations inside other nations, on no man’s land like Jedlicka did, by encroaching upon the sovereignty of more than one nation or in the middle of the ocean. Seriously!

Not Featured here: An Emperor.
Image Courtesy: Republic of Molossia.

These people even held a United Nations-like conference in April this year so that they could get to know each other, discuss their problems and know why they thought establishing their own country was a good idea in the first place. One guy is trying to get his own country near Egypt because he wants his daughter to be a real Princess. Really? And guess what all you little, less fortunate kids of the world; Disney is even making a movie on her! Go cry.

The establishment of such micro-nations, as they have been termed, is a growing trend even if it’s not a new one. The thought-provoking thing here is why all these people want their own countries?

 Is it because they’re tired of living in one country?

Happens to us all

 Is it because they don’t like the laws?

Well, nobody does

Is it because they’re trying to bring a revolution?

That makes sense

Do they want their children to be Disney Princesses?

There is something wrong with people

Do they want more international chaos than what already exists?

Peace is so boring

Do they want an army to chase them back home and then get ‘exiled’ status?

Definition of FUN!

Do they actually have a reason at all?

The Mystery!

Although all these Highnesses and Majesties and Honourables don’t have one particular answer to this question, it seems like governments who have problems with these people will sooner or later stop laughing at them and realize they should have stopped them a long time back… when they could. But by then:

WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER

5 ways Modi is helping India with his manic Wanderlust

Narendra Modi has gone on 16 foreign visits to 15 countries (visiting Nepal twice) since he took office in 2014. Out of these, five have been to summits which include BRICS, UNGA, ASEAN, G20 and SAARC, while the others have been state visits.

There has been criticism as well as praise for the Prime Minister’s travels abroad for bilateral, multilateral and summit meetings with heads of state and fellow heads of governments. Mr Modi has been on a whirlwind tour of friendly nations and his government has played an important part in helping other nations with their problems.

Helping Maldives with its water crises, Nepal with earthquake relief and a half-dozen more nations with evacuation of their citizens from war-torn Yemen has been a show of solidarity, strength and a sign of deepening ties with India’s neighbours by a PM whose symbolism is not only hard, but impossible to miss.

In a series of brilliantly executed foreign policy measures that has seen even the Union Minister for External Affairs noticeably sidelined, the PM has created such immense opportunities for India that even the most ardent of his critics must admit that Indian leadership of this kind on the international stage hasn’t been seen perhaps since the time of Jawaharlal Nehru, and that’s saying something.

Here are the FIVE reasons why a PM on the go has helped India stabilize and improve its image abroad:

1.       Marching Westwards

Mr Modi’s visits to the ‘Western’ nations, including the United States, Germany, France and Canada has emphasised on a possible break from Russia’s influence and a march towards the West, an improvement on many levels since India would certainly not want to be seen snuggling with an international aggressor. However, although India did support Russia’s anti-gay legislation at the UN, the trend of this government’s foreign policy is definitely looking towards the west.

2.       Looking back East

The PM hosted Chinese President Xi Jinping and is slated to return the visit later this month. But this visit has been strategically placed after his visits to the rest of South Asia. This can only be seen as a sign of solidarity with smaller neighbours in the vicinity who view India as the only friendly nation powerful enough to counter the Chinese threat in the Asia-Pacific. Visits to Bhutan, Nepal, Japan, Myanmar, Australia, Fiji, Seychelles, Mauritius, Sri Lanka and Singapore coupled with the invitation for them to attend his swearing-in ceremony sealed his commitment to India again being forthcoming to address issues of regional significance after years of a dormant and laid-back attitude under successive governments.

3.       Securing India’s Backyard

‘An iron hand in a velvet glove’ is what Mr Modi truly is. He has made sure that his voice of co-operation and failing that, the sound of his cannons, is heard from Kabul in the west to Dhaka in the east and from Beijing in the north to Colombo in the south. The first concentric circle of foreign nations surrounding India have been made to realize that she will not tolerate indiscipline at her borders and will act swiftly and decisively against those who try to violate her sovereignty as Pakistan has found in recent times.

4.       Bringing in Trade

Industrialists have always had better deals and working conditions under Mr Modi’s government since the time he was Chief Minister. He merely took his idea of local manufacture of products to the next level when he was called upon to lead the nation. The ‘Make in India’ campaign has attracted not only the attention of corporate giants and MNC’s, but also various governments who seem to think it is lucrative to enter into an emerging market as vast and diverse as India. There is something for everyone and ultimately the country has a lot to gain if investment keeps pouring in. Sectors previously under government control will gain momentum under privatization and decrease reliability on imports to sustain demand. The value of the rupee will rise and with it, prosperity. The defence sector has been given utmost priority in this drive which is a step in the right direction.

5.       Connecting with the Global Indian community

Being the ‘Rock star’ of an Indian PM, Narendra Modi enjoys immense popularity with NRIs and PIOs all over the world. Wherever he travels, he makes sure he meets the Indian population who come in droves to see the leader of their homeland and to hear the orator in person. The crowds at Madison Square Garden in New York, the Olympic Park in Sydney and Ricoh Coliseum in Toronto are witnesses to the fact that this PM has managed to unite his flock not only at home but also abroad. They believe that this PM will lead India into the glorious future.

Bombay Chronicles #3 - Beautiful Bombay

Bombay is a very old city and by that merit, has some very old building, albeit in very good shape. It is not only the old ones though that are picturesque, modern buildings hold their own in competition. They just lack one thing, the weight of history that defines their older counterparts.

This is the third and final part of the Bombay Chronicles series. You can read the first and second parts here.

The BSE is a building I had wanted to see up close from a long time. The Bombay Stock Exchange, the centre of trade and commerce that essentially makes the city the financial capital of the country is an imposing structure and one can only describe the feeling of staring up at it as one of awe. The scroll of companies listed there and the giant screen outside the building coupled with high fences, roadblocks and what seems like a whole battalion of security personnel truly presents a visage that goes with something as important as the protection of a nation’s finance. And yeah, I got told off for trying to put national security at risk by almost clicking a picture of the building.

The Haji Ali Dargah, the mosque that is literally in the sea, is another place that I wanted to visit, thanks to Bollywood. The mosque, although thronging with tourists and the faithful is a place of immense calm if one were to look for it. Sitting on the edge of the border wall, staring into the water, one can feeling peace wash over with the salty breeze and crashing waves.

A happenstance led us to Horniman circle, an area next to Dalal Street which looks like Connaught Place in Delhi. We, as media students, decided to visit Bombay Samachar, India’s oldest newspaper. It was amazing to see that the old building was exactly how it would have been when it was first constructed. More files than computers, more fans than air conditioners and senior journalists looking up over the edge of their glasses at this bunch of prospective media persons. There were three different types of printing machines. And the best thing: They don’t use key cards to log entry and exit, they use the quaint punching system to remind them of the values that were integrated with the paper.

Marine Drive, where the wave of humanity meets the waves of the ocean at the edge of land (or rather the island). Watching the place in movies does no justice to the place… at all. Need a place to unwind at the end of a hard day but don’t want to do so at the bottom of a bottle, this is the place to be. The sunset, the water, the rocks, the concrete, the crows and the crabs present such a vivid mix of sensory perceptions that one can absolutely be lost in the fine line between nature and civilization. The pure energy thrown off by the city behind and the water in front, the clash of opposite forces and the feeling of being equidistant from both, in no man’s land so to speak is an experience unlike any other. It is truly the refuge of the tired mind weary heart.

The Gateway of India, one of the two most prominent ‘Gates’ in the nation is beautiful after sunset. Obviously, selfie-crazy people need to go before that but the beauty of the yellow stone, the lighting and the hilarious signboards together with the history of the place gives a sombre reminder of days before Independence. And of course, the Taj hotel just next to it adds up to the whole experience of patriotism as symbol of steadfast reserve of the Indian people and their ability to bounce back from anything at all.

The Gateway of India.

This was all the beauty I managed to cram into my short stay in Mumbai and the rest… perhaps another time.

Bombay Chronicles #2 - Rising Tide

Bombay is the city by the sea and the people living therein are like the drops in that sea that fills up this great metropolitan, rendering it virtually impossible to breathe or see anything once inside.

This is the second part of the Bombay Chronicles series. You can read the first part here.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

As Poseidon threatens to engulf the island and reclaim what is his, the wave of humanity pushes back in defiance, gathering more of its own into the city and inadvertently helping the Lord of the Seas in his diabolical agenda. Unlike Atlantis, which he sunk with one swipe of his trident, Poseidon seems to be biding his time for Bombay to give up its soul willingly, albeit unwittingly.

Bombay, like other cities in Japan, Europe and Scandinavia, is an island; an island that is slowly but steadily filling up with a lot more people and infrastructure than its natural capacity. Factors like the Indian population explosion and an extended rate of migration to this financial capital have overpopulated this city.

The crowd on Chowpatty beach on a Sunday.

Rising water levels around the world due to global warming and deteriorating weather conditions are posing an increasing threat to this city’s contemporaries like Tokyo and Venice. In fact, in extreme weather conditions, the sea has been known to lay a invasive hand upon Bombay’s streets as well. How long before it decides to place the city under siege?

I am no meteorologist or geologist or statistician but one can always wonder what would happen if conditions were to get worse. It is not like nobody is aware of the problem but can it be that people would rather live in denial of a problem rather than think about its ramifications? And to think that I got this theory of denial from Dan Brown’s book ‘Inferno’ which coincidently I bought in… Bombay.

Bombay Chronicles #1 – Taking on Trains, Taxis & Traffic with Tequila

At first sight, the city appears to be nothing but a mass of humanity running in various directions with myriad purposes and at varying speeds. There is a sort of slow motion scene where everything slows down when you notice something beautiful and the next moment you are pushed back into reality and into the same throng of people you noticed as you stepped foot into economic powerhouse of an island.

The people, the lights, the noise, the smell… it all feels unrealistic and in a vague sort of way, a bit like what it would be like living inside the world of ‘The Matrix’. But here, people are controlled traffic lights, trains signals and numbers that go up and down at the Bombay Stock Exchange.

In Bombay for a week, probably half of my trip was spent travelling, thanks to the vast size of the city and the distance between places. Here is how the three T’s convinced me that the only way I’m ever going to Bombay again is as a tourist and nothing more.

Trains

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

The sheer number of people at any local train station startled the wits out of me and I’ve hung on to the side of a public transport bus many a times in Ahmedabad, where buses are tilted by the sheer weight of people hanging out the door. So you can imagine when I say I’m not easily overwhelmed by crowds. Of course I’d heard stories of Bombay’s population and its load of transportation but living it was more than I bargained for when I said ‘Aaj kuch toofaani karte hai’.

Added to the general discomfort of having to smell other people’s armpits and a whole collection of perfumes, the menace of having to deal with eunuchs is an ever present threat while on a train in the city. Of course, then there is the fear of getting thrown off the train or finding that your wallet has been picked off while you were trying to hang on for dear life while simultaneously avoid throwing up on people who will probably actually throw you off the train for doing that.

But, the trains do get you where you where you need to go. The problem is not the destination, but the journey.

Taxis

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

I don’t mean to generalize here but taxi drivers are everywhere have the tendency of doubling up as tourist guides and showing outsiders the sights of the city even if it takes them out of the most direct way to your destination. The difference is that in other places you might not have to pay as much as say… the railway ticket from Gujarat to Goa to go from Bandra to Andheri.

While I was there, it was imperative that there was a functioning GPS in at least one phone to make sure that we reached the destination without having to write out a cheque instead of searching for loose change to pay the driver.

The good thing however is that taxi drivers actually follow the rules and don’t seat more than four people in the vehicle but that’s probably because the traffic police take their jobs very seriously there. And yes, taxi drivers will not always turn down the meter when you tell them your destination. They will first think about it and then they can and probably will refuse to take you there after much deliberation, leaving you stranded with on the road with the knowledge that three other taxis already passed you while the driver was making up his mind.

Traffic

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

For those of you who live in a city not as big as Bombay, you have to see the traffic to believe what I’ve experienced. I’ve seen traffic jams as long as half a kilometre or more but the situation in this city is altogether on another level. Lack of sleep and excitement at wanting to explore the city meant that I slept more hours in a taxi than I did in a bed in the span of one week. Unbelievable? Believe it!

And this is just the situation on normal days. Weekends and matches at the Wankhede stadium take this madness to extremity. God help you if you are loathe to walk, because there is absolutely no point travelling by any sort of automobile when Bombay gears up for the weekend. I’m sure that an aerial photograph of any intersection or Chowpatty beach on a weekend will show up as an ants nest, it’s that bad.

And yeah, good luck getting anywhere on time. Not going to happen.

But unlike Gujarat, where everything needs to be done with a straight head; in Bombay, tequila is happy to help. Yeah, that said, ‘Don’t drink and drive’.

Beyond Boundaries

Today I was watching a lesser known film titled ‘Einstein and Eddington’. For those who have not yet had the chance of watching it, the film is the tale of two scientists, one German and the other English, set in the backdrop of the First World War and meaning to show how science, which was at that time, the right hand of the military, transcended national identities to give a clearer picture of the universe as we know it today.

This blog post is not a review of the film but rather an amalgamation of thoughts that it evoked at its outset.

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

The correspondence of scientists from two countries at war on a planet that is so miniscule that it fades into insignificance at the magnitude of the theory that one of them developed and the other attempted to prove says something about human endeavour and its burning passion for knowledge even in the most brutal of times.

The 1900s were probably not the best of times for free scientific research because of the pressures of continuous conflicts and the race to be at the forefront of technological innovation that was spurred on by warring factions in Europe.

Today, the times are different and collaboration has reached a level where it’s difficult to pinpoint which country developed what because scientific approach today is one where the entire race is benefited from work towards a common goal by shared research and development.

It is almost magical (and that’s an ironical adjective to use) to see how correspondence between two great and open minds helped to establish the new laws of gravity and its behaviour in the universe. What’s more is that an English scientist helped a German scientist prove Sir Isaac Newton wrong.

This uncommon, possibly dangerous and mildly traitorous collaboration at that time brought about future discoveries that would have otherwise been delayed by decades of war. And all it took was one moment of courage and determination by one scientist to pose a question to another who was looking to answer that very question but didn’t know how to.

This goes a long way in showing how much good humanity is capable of; it speaks of a glimmer of hope amidst the devastation of war and the continuous search for the truth in the bleakest times of barbarity that can be conjured up. The same mind that can unravel whole civilizations can also unravel the threads of the universe.

Humanity has two faces and even though it might feel like the good side is faded beyond recognition, it shines more brilliantly at the worst of times to give hope and satisfaction to those with faith.

The Berlin ‘Divar’ in India

I visited Goa this December, five years since I’d last been there. Lot of development, lots of new things, improvements in infrastructure but one thing had remained the same; its charm.

How many ever times I visit Goa, it never is boring and even though I’ve visited a lot of places in numerous vacations, no place has ever given the feeling of being at peace like Goa has. Goa today is a tourist hub like none other and one can see people not only from the various states of India, but also from around the world flocking to this former Portuguese colony to marvel at the amalgamation of the West and the East. And then there are Gujaratis, they just go to Goa to drink… with alcohol being prohibited in the land of Gandhi’s birthplace and all.

So, with this entire hullabaloo *hic* and crowd *hic* and everything else *hic*, how can Goa afford me with the peace and quiet that I need?

I go to the villages.

Divar island.

Every time I go to see my relatives spread out throughout the state and some of them live in villages but this time it was different. I went to an isolated little island called ‘Divar’. I wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t heard of this place. It is a small island with a population of around 300 families, 3 churches, 0 hospitals, 0 bridges and 0 tourism… Beautiful!

Zero Hospitals! Unbelievable? Believe it. They just have a small healthcare centre on the island and they have to make do in that. With three churches on the other hand, I guess they just pray that nobody falls seriously ill at night. Well, they can be taken to the mainland if that happens right? Wrong! If you’ll kindly refer above, you’ll notice they have zero bridges connecting them to mainland Goa. The ferries that operate on the river Mandovi and the open sea do so only till 11:00 pm. After that, they’re on their own and if you’re stuck there as a tourist, too bad because there aren’t any hotels as far as I was informed.

Considering that the name of these people’s island is ‘Divar’ which means ‘wall’ in Hindi, I guess they really are on the other side on the (Berlin) Wall.

But it’s not like the government of Goa hasn’t done its part for this island. Locals told me that the state government did propose a bridge but the people voted against it in a referendum that the government agreed to honour. One would wonder why these people would be against development of their own area but for the people, the equation is pretty simple.

Bridges = Hotels

Hotels = Tourism

Tourism = Nuisance

Hence, No Bridges.

The people see how the rest of Goa is intoxicated with tourism and in fact a lot of people on the island are also employed by the tourism industry but they want their island to remain pristine, quiet and peaceful in order to continue living there as they have for centuries now. And the government seems to understand that.

So, Divar was, is and hopefully will remain the El Dorado with more green than gold in its streets.

Oh, and by the way, they have this huge crib making competition every year for Christmas. To how you the scale of the crib, here it is with a human for comparison.

A Crib on Divar island.

The Ten Rupee Tantrum

Image Courtesy: Google Images.

Have you seen people go nuts when their money goes missing? It is obvious that large sums of money end to cause problems when they disappear but it is absolutely hilarious when people raise a hue and cry for meagre amounts of money that they don’t care about any way. My mind, in its infinite wisdom scoffs at such people and I’m sure you too might have had such an occasion yourself.

I’m writing this post from the state transport ‘super deluxe’ bus because this is the scene of the event and I’m bringing it live to you ‘on the way’ to Ahmedabad. Now, we have these intercity ‘superfast’ buses that have a driver but no conductor (job cuts affect the public sector too). Before, one could just sit in the bus and buy the ticket on the way to the destination but not now! Now, you’ve got to buy the ticket before the bus leaves because the conductor gets off the bus.

Enter: The Woman.

The bus is about to leave and she is the last one to climb aboard just as the bus is about to leave.. the conductor climbs aboard for her and gives her a ticket. Since the bus is already late, the driver and conductor are both in a hurry. The conductor gives her ten rupees less in the change he hands back and leaves the bus as it it rolls on to the highway.

The Woman realizes ten seconds too late that she got ten rupees less and muttered round about ten swearwords at ten generations of the conductor’s family before asking the driver to stop the bus and get back her money. As if that was going to happen…

So halfway into the journey at the rest stop, she again asked the driver about her ten rupees and what he was going to do about it. The driver said he was going to do nothing about it, wore his killer shades and put the bus into first as we started for Ahmedabad again.

However, one or two other passengers either took an interest in her story or were making a fool out of her; they asked her about the issue. She, the poor victim, recited the whole story as it happened but very conveniently keeping the amount of money ambiguous so as not to give her new found sympathizers a chance to scoff at her ridiculousness like the driver and this funky guy with the laptop were doing. So, when her sympathizers thought that the conductor didn’t return fifty rupees, she didn’t even correct them, instead going with the flow and playing the hapless victim to perfection. By the end of the hour, she had lamented so much that she herself must have believed that she had been conned out of fifty rupees instead of ten.

But it isn’t nice to make fun of this woman. She probably needs attention from people around her.

Oh wait! A development!

The sympathizer turned out to be a driver himself and actually called up a conductor or two and found the ‘guilty one’. He made him aware of his mistake and actually reprimanded him on the phone. He then paid the woman fifty rupees that he believed she was owed and the woman took it! 

No reluctance, no shame, only forgiveness in her eyes as she looked right into sympathizer’s eyes and took the money.

I feel like clapping at her brilliant performance but I think silence is of more benefit since it offers a better view of the stage in this play.

Driver! That's my stop!

Killing our Kitli Culture

The city of Ahmedabad is known as the centre of education in Gujarat and along with that comes its very own amazing phenomenon known as ‘kitli culture’. We in Ahmedabad are fiercely fond of our tea; nobody can keep us away from it. We even have a tea company that began here! In a place where tea is not even grown! Because of the immense market of tea consumers, lots of tea stalls or ‘Kitlis’ can be seen dotting this city’s streets. You may have to hunt for an ATM but certainly not for tea.

If you don’t know what a Kitli is, I suggest you take a look at this; The Kitli: Much more than just Tea.

Coming back to the matter at hand, there’s something ‘Vibrant’ happening in the city shortly. Heads of states, chairmen of international conglomerates, ministerial level officials and investors are coming into town. For the Chief Minister, Santa Claus is rather late this year but it sure looks like he is coming nonetheless.

So lots of MOUs get signed and multi-billion promises get thrown about nonchalantly at this event. But, does one have to sell the city’s soul to give an impression of development? Is it absolutely necessary that the common people suffer so that a few foreign dignitaries get the false impression of our streets being devoid of people who earn a day’s living by its side?

Since the past week, the Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation has been clearing all the kitlis and eateries that are stationed by the roads so that our former Chief Minister, the present one and their very important guests don’t have to see these hard working people make a living by selling tea on their precious ‘roads of development’. This is what has happened because of the project of a man who claims to be a former ‘chaiwala’ himself. I suppose he doesn’t believe in taking care of his own.

Image Courtesy: Joel George.

Instead of embracing these kitlis and being proud of them as being part of the city’s culture, their stalls are being dragged away like they are a nuisance. Are the authorities ashamed of this tea culture while they proudly flaunt ‘Indian culture’ in everyone’s faces in Delhi? Talk about hypocrisy!

I’ve been fortunate to have had many interactions with foreign exchange students from various countries throughout my education and I’m proud to say that I’ve taken each and every one of them to a kitli at least once. And they love it! They admire the street life of the city and the vibrancy that reflects in the people here who prefer to breakfast on muskabun or omelette at a kitli rather than bacon and eggs in a five star hotel. This is what Ahmedabad is and what it should be portrayed as.

To you dear authorities, I only ask that you stave off kicking the poor man in his stomach so that you can sign that multi-million dollar deal that might never be realized after these people go back home sniggering at your pathetic attempts to show this city for what it’s not.

Be proud of this city, not ashamed and maybe the people won’t be ashamed of you then.